Farmer dyes sheep red

A Scottish farmer has dyed his sheep red in an effort to cheer up drivers sitting in motorway tailbacks.

Andrew Jack sprayed his 54-strong flock before releasing them on to the Pyramid Hills by the M8 in West Lothian.

Mr Jack told the Scotsman: "The sheep are causing quite a stir. We used a sheep spray, but it was totally animal-friendly and would not do the sheep any harm.

"We will leave them like that until it is time to shear their coats off."

The idea was the brainchild of managers at the Pyramid Business Park in Bathgate, and was designed to keep their workers and passers-by travelling on the M8 entertained.

It follows the M8 Art project, which created artistic talking-points along the main travel corridor between east and west.

They included the Iron Horse at Easterhouse and the Big Heids sculptures at the Eurocentral Terminal site.

Fines for failed marriages

Poland is planning to fine people who get divorced in a bid to cut the spiralling number of failed marriages.

The ruling PiS party unveiled the plan after it was revealed a third of Polish marriages now end in divorce.

The fines, set depending how well off spouses are, could soar into hundreds of thousands of pounds for wealthier Poles.

Divorce in Poland currently cost around £100 in court fees, a figure ruling MPs feel is much too cheap.

According to Andrzej Symanski, a PiS party MP: "It costs the same to divorce as a good pair of shoes."

MPs now want to raise divorce fees, making the price dependent on the spouses' earnings and property.

University sociologist Dr. Krzystof Lecki accused the state of looking to cash in on the divorce trend and added it would not stop people separating.

He said: "If adults want to get divorced, they will, whatever the costs are. It's more likely to stop people marrying in the first place than anything else."

Burglars steal kitchen

A Yorkshireman returned from travelling the world to find burglars had stolen his entire kitchen.

James Elstub, from Dewsbury, returned from holidaying in Thailand, Australia, New Zealand and the USA to find his kitchen had been stripped.

Thieves broke in and took all the appliances and fittings in the room, Halifax Home Insurance said.

Mr Elstub said: "I can't believe I returned home from my holiday to find burglars had stolen my kitchen sink.

"The criminals must have been bold, as it would have taken considerable time to strip the kitchen.

"The burglary felt like a complete invasion."

Mr Elstub claimed for £3,000 for the damage caused by the break-in and for a replacement kitchen.

"My replacement kitchen arrived very shortly so I only had to put up with two weeks of microwave meals," he added.

Dog performs Heimlich manoeuvre

A US woman claims her golden labrador saved her life by giving her the Heimlich manoeuvre.

Debbie Parkhurst, 45, was eating an apple at home in Cecil County, Maryland, when a chunk got stuck in her throat.

"It was lodged pretty tight because I couldn't breathe," she said. "I tried to do the thing where you lean over a chair and give yourself the Heimlich, but it didn't work."

Mrs Parkhurst then began beating her chest, attracting the attention of two-year-old Toby, reports the local Cecil Whig newspaper.

"The next think I know, Toby's up on his hind feet and he's got his front paws on my shoulders," she recalled. "He pushed me to the ground, and once I was on my back, he began jumping up and down on my chest."

Toby's jumping apparently managed to dislodge the apple from Parkhurst's windpipe.

"As soon as I started breathing, he stopped and began licking my face, as if to keep me from passing out," she said.

"I, literally, have pawprint-shaped bruises on my chest," Parkhurst said. "I'm still a little hoarse, but otherwise, I'm OK.

"The doctor said I probably wouldn't be here without Toby. I keep looking at him and saying: "You're amazing"."

Toadzilla seized in Australia

A giant cane toad the size of a small dog has been captured in northern Australia.

It has been nicknamed Toadzilla and is the biggest cane toad ever found in Australia's Northern territory.

Environmentalists have been trying to stop the spread of the poisonous creatures across the country's tropics.

The toads were introduced from Hawaii in the 1930s in a failed attempt to control native cane beetles.

Toadzilla was caught during a community hunt in Darwin.

Cane toads were first released in Queensland and have since marched in their millions across the country.

They are prolific breeders. Some estimates put their number as high as 200 million.

They have poisoned countless native animals, including crocodiles which have died after eating them.

The population of some snakes, lizards and small marsupials have also suffered greatly.

A Northern Territory MP once said the toads were such a menace that people should attack them with golf clubs to keep them at bay.

Man, 102, given 25 year mortgage

A 102-year-old man has been given a 25 year mortgage for £200,000.

The pensioner will be 127 if the loan runs to its full term - five years older than the world's longest living person who died at 122.

The man, from East Sussex, faces repayments of £958 a month on his interest-only loan.

He is using it to "get into the buy-to-let" market and intends to use the rental income to pay the mortgage.

He is the oldest person in Britain to be given a new mortgage. There are now thousands of pensioners borrowing money to buy property in the hope of beefing up their pensions.

Most lenders offer mortgages to people up to the age of 75. But some have no age limit. Jonathan Moore, of Mortgages for Business, arranged the loan for the 102-year-old.

He said: "It's a new phenomenon. Five years ago, anybody over 65 would have been hard-pushed to get any mortgage. But lenders have eased restrictions to keep in step with the market."

Last journey was dead long

A man travelled up and down the same train line for six hours before staff realised he was dead.

Ferdinando Borelli, 85, had a fatal heart attack, but other passengers assumed he was asleep, reports The Sun.

He completed the route - from Savona to Turin in northern Italy - three times before cleaners tried to wake him at the company's depot.

He was returning from holiday and died shortly after boarding the train.

Singleton advertises for tomb-mate

A single Chinese man is advertising on the internet for a female tomb-mate so he won't be alone after death.

Mr Li, 45, of Nanjing city, said: "I was chatting with friends in a bar, and we were talking about life and death. They said it's sad to be all alone, even after death.

"That night I came back home, and thought about it seriously, and came up with the idea of finding a tomb-mate."

Li posted a message online, saying he is single but sociable and wants a female to share his tomb, and left his mobile phone number.

His ad attracted a lot of comments but Li says a curious journalist from Jinling Evening Post was the first to call.

"I only want to have a try. If I fail, I can take it, as long as I've tried," he said.

"I don't want a relationship with her. I just want to find someone to share the lonely tomb."

Beer goggles for drink drivers

Police in Poland are forcing drink drivers to wear specially made beer goggles to show them how alcohol affects their driving.

Officers in Koscian arranged for those caught drink driving to put on the goggles that distort their vision in the same way as several pints of beer.

They then have to get in a car driven by a police officer and can see how hard it is to focus.

A police spokesman said: "The blurred sight of the goggles is equivalent to that experienced by a drunk driver.

"The beer goggles distort a person's vision and force them to try and constantly refocus."

Funeral procession breathalysed

Police have been criticised in Holland after officers halted a funeral procession to carry out breathalyser tests.

The mourners had just left the church in Enschede and were on their way to the cemetery in Usselo.

The hearse and the four following cars were allowed to drive on.

But ten cars driven by family and friends were pulled over and many arrived too late to attend the burial.

"I find it very strange that people taking part in a funeral procession were pulled over to be breathalysed," said council member Jurgen Van Houdt.

"The police could have waited until after the funeral."

The police declined to comment.

Pill to stop an ill wind

German scientists have developed a pill that stops cattle breaking wind.

Methane emissions from cattle are responsible for 4% of harmful greenhouse gas emissions, and any reduction would be a major contribution to reducing global warming.

Scientists at the University of Hohenheim in Germany say they have now tested a pill which in combination with a special diet and strict feeding times should make cattle less harmful to the climate.

The pill, which is still being tested, breaks down the methane in the cows' stomachs, and also has health benefits for the cattle.

Winfried Drocher, head of the faculty for animal nutrition at the university, said: "It will make this energy available for the cows' metabolism. The cattle can use the methane to produce glucose instead of just passing it out and it will enable them to produce more milk."

The only problem at the moment is that the pill is about the size of a fist, which is hard to persuade the cows to swallow.

"It needs to be this big as it dissolves slowly, releasing active ingredients over several months. Our aim is to increase the well-being of the cows and to reduce the emission of greenhouse gasses," said Drocher.

Forced to pee in sick bag

An air passenger says he was forced to urinate into an airsick bag after flight attendants refused to let him use the toilet.

James Whipple says he was repeatedly prevented from entering the bathroom during a SkyWest Airlines flight from Boise to Salt Lake City.

Mr Whipple told the Salt Lake Tribune: "It was like I had no choice. I started to urinate on myself. So, thinking the way I thought, I grabbed one of those vomit bags.

"I didn't think I did anything wrong. I could have relieved myself all over my pants. It was almost like that was what she preferred me to do."

The captain had left the 'fasten seat belt' light on during the hour-long flight because the bathroom was unusable - the light was out.

"I really had to go. I kept asking three or four times, 'may I use the bathroom?' She kept telling me no. The fourth time I asked, we were in final descent, which was her excuse," Mr Whipple said.

Mr Whipple, from Salt Lake City, discreetly used the sick bag but was confronted by the flight attendant and admitted what he had done.

When the plane reached the terminal, he was arrested and taken to a police station at the airport. No charges were filed and he was allowed to go home after two hours.

A SkyWest spokeswoman said Mr Whipple had wanted to use the bathroom while the "fasten seat belt" light was illuminated, which was against Federal Aviation Administration regulations.

But the airline apologised to him on behalf of the attendant and promised to send him some travel vouchers.

Naked OAP joyrider

Police are hunting for a naked pensioner spotted joyriding around a bowling green on a Shopmobility scooter in Scotland.

A passer-by was stunned to see the man - thought to be in his seventies - on the vehicle, which has a top speed of 3mph.

The witness, concerned that the naked pensioner would be seen by children at a neighbouring play park in Perth, called police.

A spokesman for Tayside Police said: "When the complainer called the police, the pensioner put his clothes on and drove off.

"The area was searched but there was no trace of the male involved."

Man cuts off genitals in drunken rage

A Polish man cut off his own genitals in a drunken fit of rage after his wife left him.

Tadeus Konopizc, 40, from Zakopane, slashed off his penis and testicles with a six inch kitchen knife after downing more than a bottle of vodka.

He managed to call doctors to tell them what he had done and they sent a special helicopter rescue team to fly him to the northern town of Bialystok where surgeons specialise in sewing back severed organs.

But heavy fog on the way delayed the helicopter and by the time they reached the hospital doctors said it was too late to reattach the man's private parts.

He is now expected to undergo months of surgery as doctors attempt to re-build his penis using skin from elsewhere on his body.

Man sues over snowball

A US private detective is suing a man for £2,250 - plus courts costs - for throwing a snowball at him.

William Elich, 46, claims he was about to enter a restaurant in Portland, Oregon, when Greg Ely, 32, came by in a Hummer with a "dashboard lined with snowballs".

One snowball hit Mr Elich in the head, breaking his glasses and bruising his left eyeball, reports the Oregonian.

Mr Elich said the loss of his bifocal glasses forced him to miss work as a private investigator for eight to 10 days while he waited for a new pair.

Mr Ely, a stone mason, claims he has the wrong man: "I didn't throw a snowball at anyone," he insisted.

But Mr Elich is adamant. He says that, after he was struck with the snowball, he looked through his remaining good eye and noted the number plate of the Hummer.

He called called police, who visited Mr Ely but didn't pursue any charges. Officers said it was one man's word against another.

But Mr Elich would not let the matter drop and is pursuing the case in civil court.

"I don't need the money," he said. "He needs to learn a lesson... This is a 32-year-old man acting like a 16-year-old."

Dog eats dentures

A Jack Russell terrier was rushed into surgery - after eating his owner's false teeth.

One-year-old Desmond gobbled down Marjorie Johnson's dentures when she was in the loo, reports the Mirror.

The teeth showed up on X-rays and vets had to open up his stomach in a £1,200 three-hour op.

Gran Marjorie, 62, of South Shields, South Tyneside, said: "He's eaten them for the fun of it. He's very mischievous.

"When I got back he was looking all sheepish."

The terrier had previously chewed slippers, shoes and TV wires.

Buddhist dilemma over ants

Buddhist monks in Malaysia are struggling to combat an infestation of stinging red ants - without killing any of them.

Monks at the Hong HockSee Temple in Kuala Lumpur face a moral dilemma because of their belief in non-violence.

The insects have plagued the temple for a year and one worshipper needed hospital treatment after being bitten, reports Sky News.

A disciple has since tried using a vacuum cleaner to gather up the ants before freeing them in a nearby forest, but the method failed to purge the swarm.

Elma Lin, a temple volunteer, said: "We haven't found a solution so far. Nothing has worked."

The temple's chief, Boon Keng, said the monks had to "respect other living things" in the temple.

Brothel flotation

An Austrian businessmen is planning to float Europe's first ever brothel chain on the stock exchange.

Shareholders will get special discounts when they snap up shares in finance expert Dr Alexander Gerhardlinger's brothel chain GoldenTime.

Gerhardlinger is owner of the investment firm RB Immo.

The shares will be offered once the group's new brothels in Munich, Innsbruck and Nuremberg are opened, which will give him enough turnover for the stock exchange listing.

He said: "I have had top lawyers, tax experts and even big name football players get in touch about acquiring shares. They all want to remain anonymous but are convinced the listing will be a winner."

Investment banker Manuel Lorenz said: "Sex often brings enormous returns, there will be a lot of interest and this offering is sure to be a winner.

"A brothel share will of course be one that attracts a lot of interest in any case, and that will benefit sales."

Oldest driver clocks up 100

Britain's oldest driver is celebrating his 100th birthday with a spin in his Reliant Robin.

Norman Yeo never actually passed a test to drive a car, reports the Mirror.

He did get his motorbike licence in 1952 and has been driving three-wheelers for the past 35 years without an accident or speeding ticket.

Norman, of Long Aston, Bristol said: "I started off with an engine on the back of a bicycle.

"It's good that they still let me drive. I got something in the post last year saying I've got another three years - so I could still be driving until I'm 102."

German man chainsaws house in two in divorce split

BERLIN (Reuters Life!) - A 43-year-old German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chainsawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

Police in the eastern town of Sonneberg said on Friday the trained mason measured the single-storey summer house -- which was some 8 meters (26 feet) long and 6 meters wide -- before chainsawing through the wooden roof and walls.

"The man said he was just taking his due," said a police spokesman. "But I don't think his wife was too pleased."

After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother's house where he has since been staying.