Singleton advertises for tomb-mate

A single Chinese man is advertising on the internet for a female tomb-mate so he won't be alone after death.

Mr Li, 45, of Nanjing city, said: "I was chatting with friends in a bar, and we were talking about life and death. They said it's sad to be all alone, even after death.

"That night I came back home, and thought about it seriously, and came up with the idea of finding a tomb-mate."

Li posted a message online, saying he is single but sociable and wants a female to share his tomb, and left his mobile phone number.

His ad attracted a lot of comments but Li says a curious journalist from Jinling Evening Post was the first to call.

"I only want to have a try. If I fail, I can take it, as long as I've tried," he said.

"I don't want a relationship with her. I just want to find someone to share the lonely tomb."

Beer goggles for drink drivers

Police in Poland are forcing drink drivers to wear specially made beer goggles to show them how alcohol affects their driving.

Officers in Koscian arranged for those caught drink driving to put on the goggles that distort their vision in the same way as several pints of beer.

They then have to get in a car driven by a police officer and can see how hard it is to focus.

A police spokesman said: "The blurred sight of the goggles is equivalent to that experienced by a drunk driver.

"The beer goggles distort a person's vision and force them to try and constantly refocus."

Funeral procession breathalysed

Police have been criticised in Holland after officers halted a funeral procession to carry out breathalyser tests.

The mourners had just left the church in Enschede and were on their way to the cemetery in Usselo.

The hearse and the four following cars were allowed to drive on.

But ten cars driven by family and friends were pulled over and many arrived too late to attend the burial.

"I find it very strange that people taking part in a funeral procession were pulled over to be breathalysed," said council member Jurgen Van Houdt.

"The police could have waited until after the funeral."

The police declined to comment.

Pill to stop an ill wind

German scientists have developed a pill that stops cattle breaking wind.

Methane emissions from cattle are responsible for 4% of harmful greenhouse gas emissions, and any reduction would be a major contribution to reducing global warming.

Scientists at the University of Hohenheim in Germany say they have now tested a pill which in combination with a special diet and strict feeding times should make cattle less harmful to the climate.

The pill, which is still being tested, breaks down the methane in the cows' stomachs, and also has health benefits for the cattle.

Winfried Drocher, head of the faculty for animal nutrition at the university, said: "It will make this energy available for the cows' metabolism. The cattle can use the methane to produce glucose instead of just passing it out and it will enable them to produce more milk."

The only problem at the moment is that the pill is about the size of a fist, which is hard to persuade the cows to swallow.

"It needs to be this big as it dissolves slowly, releasing active ingredients over several months. Our aim is to increase the well-being of the cows and to reduce the emission of greenhouse gasses," said Drocher.

Forced to pee in sick bag

An air passenger says he was forced to urinate into an airsick bag after flight attendants refused to let him use the toilet.

James Whipple says he was repeatedly prevented from entering the bathroom during a SkyWest Airlines flight from Boise to Salt Lake City.

Mr Whipple told the Salt Lake Tribune: "It was like I had no choice. I started to urinate on myself. So, thinking the way I thought, I grabbed one of those vomit bags.

"I didn't think I did anything wrong. I could have relieved myself all over my pants. It was almost like that was what she preferred me to do."

The captain had left the 'fasten seat belt' light on during the hour-long flight because the bathroom was unusable - the light was out.

"I really had to go. I kept asking three or four times, 'may I use the bathroom?' She kept telling me no. The fourth time I asked, we were in final descent, which was her excuse," Mr Whipple said.

Mr Whipple, from Salt Lake City, discreetly used the sick bag but was confronted by the flight attendant and admitted what he had done.

When the plane reached the terminal, he was arrested and taken to a police station at the airport. No charges were filed and he was allowed to go home after two hours.

A SkyWest spokeswoman said Mr Whipple had wanted to use the bathroom while the "fasten seat belt" light was illuminated, which was against Federal Aviation Administration regulations.

But the airline apologised to him on behalf of the attendant and promised to send him some travel vouchers.

Naked OAP joyrider

Police are hunting for a naked pensioner spotted joyriding around a bowling green on a Shopmobility scooter in Scotland.

A passer-by was stunned to see the man - thought to be in his seventies - on the vehicle, which has a top speed of 3mph.

The witness, concerned that the naked pensioner would be seen by children at a neighbouring play park in Perth, called police.

A spokesman for Tayside Police said: "When the complainer called the police, the pensioner put his clothes on and drove off.

"The area was searched but there was no trace of the male involved."

Man cuts off genitals in drunken rage

A Polish man cut off his own genitals in a drunken fit of rage after his wife left him.

Tadeus Konopizc, 40, from Zakopane, slashed off his penis and testicles with a six inch kitchen knife after downing more than a bottle of vodka.

He managed to call doctors to tell them what he had done and they sent a special helicopter rescue team to fly him to the northern town of Bialystok where surgeons specialise in sewing back severed organs.

But heavy fog on the way delayed the helicopter and by the time they reached the hospital doctors said it was too late to reattach the man's private parts.

He is now expected to undergo months of surgery as doctors attempt to re-build his penis using skin from elsewhere on his body.

Man sues over snowball

A US private detective is suing a man for £2,250 - plus courts costs - for throwing a snowball at him.

William Elich, 46, claims he was about to enter a restaurant in Portland, Oregon, when Greg Ely, 32, came by in a Hummer with a "dashboard lined with snowballs".

One snowball hit Mr Elich in the head, breaking his glasses and bruising his left eyeball, reports the Oregonian.

Mr Elich said the loss of his bifocal glasses forced him to miss work as a private investigator for eight to 10 days while he waited for a new pair.

Mr Ely, a stone mason, claims he has the wrong man: "I didn't throw a snowball at anyone," he insisted.

But Mr Elich is adamant. He says that, after he was struck with the snowball, he looked through his remaining good eye and noted the number plate of the Hummer.

He called called police, who visited Mr Ely but didn't pursue any charges. Officers said it was one man's word against another.

But Mr Elich would not let the matter drop and is pursuing the case in civil court.

"I don't need the money," he said. "He needs to learn a lesson... This is a 32-year-old man acting like a 16-year-old."

Dog eats dentures

A Jack Russell terrier was rushed into surgery - after eating his owner's false teeth.

One-year-old Desmond gobbled down Marjorie Johnson's dentures when she was in the loo, reports the Mirror.

The teeth showed up on X-rays and vets had to open up his stomach in a £1,200 three-hour op.

Gran Marjorie, 62, of South Shields, South Tyneside, said: "He's eaten them for the fun of it. He's very mischievous.

"When I got back he was looking all sheepish."

The terrier had previously chewed slippers, shoes and TV wires.

Buddhist dilemma over ants

Buddhist monks in Malaysia are struggling to combat an infestation of stinging red ants - without killing any of them.

Monks at the Hong HockSee Temple in Kuala Lumpur face a moral dilemma because of their belief in non-violence.

The insects have plagued the temple for a year and one worshipper needed hospital treatment after being bitten, reports Sky News.

A disciple has since tried using a vacuum cleaner to gather up the ants before freeing them in a nearby forest, but the method failed to purge the swarm.

Elma Lin, a temple volunteer, said: "We haven't found a solution so far. Nothing has worked."

The temple's chief, Boon Keng, said the monks had to "respect other living things" in the temple.

Brothel flotation

An Austrian businessmen is planning to float Europe's first ever brothel chain on the stock exchange.

Shareholders will get special discounts when they snap up shares in finance expert Dr Alexander Gerhardlinger's brothel chain GoldenTime.

Gerhardlinger is owner of the investment firm RB Immo.

The shares will be offered once the group's new brothels in Munich, Innsbruck and Nuremberg are opened, which will give him enough turnover for the stock exchange listing.

He said: "I have had top lawyers, tax experts and even big name football players get in touch about acquiring shares. They all want to remain anonymous but are convinced the listing will be a winner."

Investment banker Manuel Lorenz said: "Sex often brings enormous returns, there will be a lot of interest and this offering is sure to be a winner.

"A brothel share will of course be one that attracts a lot of interest in any case, and that will benefit sales."

Oldest driver clocks up 100

Britain's oldest driver is celebrating his 100th birthday with a spin in his Reliant Robin.

Norman Yeo never actually passed a test to drive a car, reports the Mirror.

He did get his motorbike licence in 1952 and has been driving three-wheelers for the past 35 years without an accident or speeding ticket.

Norman, of Long Aston, Bristol said: "I started off with an engine on the back of a bicycle.

"It's good that they still let me drive. I got something in the post last year saying I've got another three years - so I could still be driving until I'm 102."

German man chainsaws house in two in divorce split

BERLIN (Reuters Life!) - A 43-year-old German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chainsawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

Police in the eastern town of Sonneberg said on Friday the trained mason measured the single-storey summer house -- which was some 8 meters (26 feet) long and 6 meters wide -- before chainsawing through the wooden roof and walls.

"The man said he was just taking his due," said a police spokesman. "But I don't think his wife was too pleased."

After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother's house where he has since been staying.

Invasion of the body-snatchers

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - Gunmen stormed into a cemetery in southern Mexico and stole the buried corpse of a suspected drug gang hitman killed days earlier in a shootout, local officials said on Thursday.

The four armed men broke into the graveyard in the town of Poza Rica, Veracruz state, on Tuesday night, tied up a security guard, smashed Roberto Carlos Carmona's gravestone with hammers and made off with the coffin containing his corpse.

The bodysnatchers have not been identified, a spokeswoman for the local attorney general's office said.

"We are investigating," she said, adding that the body's whereabouts was also unknown.
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State interior secretary Reynaldo Escobar confirmed on Wednesday that the body was that of Carmona, an alleged member of the "Zetas" -- a band of ex-soldiers who fight rival drug gangs on behalf of the powerful Gulf cartel.

Carmona was peppered with bullets on Saturday during clandestine horse racing in the town of Villarin, near Veracruz port, after a row over a tight race. He was buried on Monday.

Veracruz state is not used to the gangland-style shootings that plague cartel-controlled northern Mexico.

Saturday's horse race saw bets of up to $358,000, local media reported, and the attorney general's spokeswoman said the spectators were all from outside Veracruz, many from northern states.

Mexico has seen an surge in grisly killings and daylight shootings as drug gangs battle for cocaine smuggling routes to the United States. President Felipe Calderon has sent thousands of troops to hotspots in northern and western Mexico.

Fighter jet and missile for sale online

A fighter jet and a surface-to-air missile were put up for sale on the Chinese equivalent of eBay.

The Jian-5 fighter jet and Red-flag-2 missile were listed on www.taobao.com, China's biggest online auction site. The seller, web-named 'gsam131139842', claimed they were from his private collection and that he had the right to sell them.

“There’re no particular laws to prohibit such a purchase, and plus, the weapons systems have been removed," he told the East Day News.

He was seeking £20,000 for the fighter jet, £32,000 for the missile 490,000 yuan, plus a £1,300 transportation fee.

“I can dismantle the weapons first, then assemble them at your place,” the seller reportedly offered.

The seller said he was from Hubei province, and that the main reason for the sale was that he urgently needed money.

“I actually also have a T-34/76 tank, which served in the Korean War around 60 years ago, and still runs," he said.

He said he didn’t put the tank on the website because it was rusty but he was prepared to sell it for £13,000. The East Day News says the weapons were later deleted from the auction website.

Tractor 1 Tank 0

A tank came off worse when it collided with a tractor in Switzerland.

The tractor was only slightly damaged in the collision, near the town of Siselen, northwest of the capital Bern. But the tank was a write off after it lost its tracks, crashed off the narrow road and turned over .

The road was closed for two hours while the tank wreck was recovered. The tractor was able to continue on its journey after the driver gave a statement to local police.

Opera to drive out junkies and drunks?

Vienna is hoping opera will succeed where police have failed in driving drug addicts and drunks out of the city's underground network.

Drug addicts and alcoholics have refused to move on from the city's main Karlsplatz underground station despite frequent police crackdowns over the years.

Local councillor Ursula Stenzel said: "We will be playing classical music, and broadcasting opera on specially installed TV screens."

She said she hoped the music would force the troublemakers to move on.

Her spokesman said: "These sort of people are not known for their love of opera and classical music, and we believe they will not hang around. Those that do might find that civilised music encourages civilised behaviour."

The social workers already working with the loiterers however are sceptical the idea will really work.

Girl, 7, calls police on cheating grandpa

A seven-year-old girl called the police - because she thought her grandfather was cheating in a game of cards.

Officers received a call from a young girl, who subsequently hung up the phone.

The call was traced to a home in the town of Burnett, Wisconsin, reports the Fond du Lac Reporter.

When police officer's arrived at the scene to investigate, the girls complaint turned out to be that she thought her grandfather had been cheating in a card game.

The girl's grandmother told police that she had just learned how to dial 911.

Dogs use cash machines

Dogs are being trained to use cash machines for their disabled owners.

They insert and withdraw cards at ATMs to help owners in wheelchairs who are not able to reach.

A spokesman for charity Canine Partners, which trains the dogs, said: "They put in the card and take it out and take out the money and give it to the person in the wheelchair.

"They can't put in the Pin but a person in a wheelchair can go sideways on and do that."

Up to 30 dogs are trained each year and the charity is hoping to double that figure next year.

It takes two years to train them, in which time they also learn to load the washing and pick up items from shop shelves.

The cash machine scheme was started by chance when Gulf War veteran Allen Parton was at a cash machine with his labrador Endal.

Wheelchair-bound Mr Parton was struggling to retrieve his cash when Endal jumped up to reach for the card, money and receipt with his mouth.

He said: "It was amazing, as he had never been taught to do this."

Strippers offer free shows for missing dog

Strippers in Italy are offering a year's free entry to their show for anyone who finds their missing poodle.

The girls, who work at the Gilda 2 sex shop and strip club in Viareggio, made the offer as soon as their pampered poodle Gianni went missing.

One of the strippers said: "Since we made the offer we have had lots of responses, but so far none of the dogs we have been shown have turned out to be our little Gianni."

London bus baby ads

A 54-year-old woman is so desperate for a baby that she's advertising on London buses for an egg donor.

Linda Weeks, a librarian of Maidstone, Kent, says the £2,000 ads are her last chance of becoming a mum.

She and husband Richard, 48, have been trying to start a family for 14 years, reports the Mirror.

They have spent £10,000 on unsuccessful IVF treatment and suffered the heartache of a miscarriage.

The advert shows the couple of their wedding day, in 1993, and says "Don't we look happy!"

But it goes on: "We'll never be Mummy and Daddy unless a wonderful woman aged 36 or under can help us by donating some of her eggs. You are our only chance of happiness."

Linda said: "I'm hoping somebody reads it and takes pity on us. I'm hoping it's third time lucky. The fertility clinic can only keep us on their list for another year - we have to give it one final go."

Man Digs Up Father’s Corpse

Pakistani police are hunting a man who dug up his father's two-year old corpse and took it home in a hijacked ambulance to try to bring him back to life.
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Abdul Rehman's family say he is mentally ill and has never been able to cope with his father's death, police said on Saturday.

"He dug up the corpse on Thursday night after he had hijacked an ambulance and its driver at gunpoint and took it to his home," Ghulam Murtaza, a duty officer at Ferozabad police station in the southern city of Karachi, told Reuters.

Police raided the house on Friday after a complaint from the trust that owned the ambulance and from Rehman's brother.

"He kept the corpse, which was nothing but a skeleton in his bedroom, for well over 12 hours. He escaped when we raided the house. We have buried it again," Murtaza said.

Rehman had also kidnapped a vagabond who slept in the graveyard and locked him up at home, police said.

"He told us he saw Rehman chanting magic spells and pouring rose water on the corpse to bring it back to life and was crying bitterly," Murtaza said.

Rehman faces a year in jail for defiling a corpse, police said.

Exam papers thrown out with rubbish

A Belgian university lecturer is in trouble after accidentally throwing out 700 exam papers with the rubbish.

Students who now have to retake their psychology exams are furious with Hugo Schouppe of Lessius High School in Antwerp.

"I regret it from the bottom of my heart," he told the Antwerp Gazette. "There is no other way than taking the exams a second time. That is honest to all students."

Mr Schouppe had taken the exam papers home to mark them and then brought them back to his office to enter the results into a computer.

But he got side-tracked and left them on a desk, near a wastepaper basket, where a cleaner mistook them for rubbish and threw them out.

University director Flora Carrijn confirmed: "We looked everywhere but we couldn't find them. After a meeting with our legal advisor we thought it was better to take the exams again, to give every student a fair chance."

But one student complained: "They made an error and we have to pay for it. It's a scandal."

Remote-controlled pigeons

Scientists in China have found a way to control the flight of pigeons by implanting electrodes in their brains.

The researchers have developed a computer system which allows them to tell the birds to fly left, right, up or down.

Chief scientist Su Xuecheng told the Xinhua news agency: "It's the first such successful experiment on a pigeon in the world."

Similar experiments on mice had been carried out by the team at the Robot Engineering Technology Research Centre, at the Shandong University of Science and Technology, two years ago.

The technique has a variety of practical uses, such as helping amputees to use mechanical limbs and controlling animals fitted with cameras to search large areas or disaster zones.

Experiments at Arizona State University earlier this year, funded by the US Neural Prosthesis Program, used a monkey to control a robotic arm.

Priests told to lose weight

A Romanian bishop has ordered his priests to lose weight.

Bishop Calinic fears his priests' fat tummies suggest they enjoy too many worldly pleasures.

He wants them to extend their fast over lent and recommends extended prayer sessions to reduce weight.

The bishop, in charge of the Arges region, said: "Oversized bellies only prove to people that priests have a good life and are not concentrating on their holy mission."

However, he says he is not recommending they take up sport, which was not appropriate for men of the cloth, adding: "Marathon prayer sessions will work much better."

His priests have all agreed to follow the advice, although some were quoted in the papers as saying they had always been "big boned".

Father Marioara, from Pitesti, says: "All the members of my family are a bit fat, it is genetic, and I do not believe I can lose weight no matter how hard I try."

Father Tintea said: "Being fat does not mean that I eat or live well, it is a matter of metabolism."

And Father Popescu added: "I do not believe that God dislikes big bellies. He brought into the world thin and fat people and makes no difference between them.

"But because I do not want people to believe I live an opulent life, I will try to lose some pounds during Lent as my bishop advises."

Indian woman aims for hot chilli record

An Indian woman hopes to get into the record books by eating a huge amount of the world's hottest pepper.

Anandita Dutta Tamuly, 26, aims to eat as many Bhut Jolokia peppers as she can in one sitting. The current record was set by South African Anita Crafford, who ate eight jalapeños in a minute in 2002.

Tamuly is a lifelong fan of the Bhut Jolokia or 'ghost' chili pepper - rated about 100 times as hot as a jalapeno.

She said: "Such is the hotness of this chili that it can drive away the ghost and hence the name."

Tamuly says she got hooked on the chillis as a child after her mother smeared chili paste on her tongue to cure an infection. Tamuly, who will attempt to create a new record in London, added: "I have already created history on Indian television by munching 60 of the chilies in two minutes. I am more than confident of creating a record."

She is currently awaiting a British visa to make the trip.

The 'ghost' pepper clocks slightly more than one million Scoville units, almost twice as hot as the previous reigning champ, the Red Savina habanero. An average jalapeno, used widely in salsa, measures only about 10 000 heat units, www.int.iol.co.za reports.

Woman swallowed lover's false teeth

A Romanian woman needed medical help after she swallowed her lover's false teeth during a moment of passion.

The 38-year-old woman, from Galati, went to hospital with stomach pains claiming she had swallowed a foreign object but without saying what it was.

Doctors were surprised when the x-ray showed false teeth in her stomach.

Eventually she admitted she gulped down the denture while experimenting a 'special type of passionate kiss' with her boyfriend.

After spending two days in hospital, the foreign object left the woman's body the natural way.

King of the swingers

A tree surgeon rescued by helicopter after he broke his leg in a 130ft tree suffered further injuries when he was swung into another tree.

Gavin Finch, 31, of Marlborough, New Zealand, was near the top of the tree when the initial accident happened reports the New Zealand Herald..

Police, ambulance and fire officers tried in vain to reach him from the ground, before rescuers decided to airlift him.

A paramedic was winched down and once Mr Finch was in a rescue harness his safety lines were released, with both men winched into the helicopter.

But it wasn't all smooth sailing.

Westpac rescue helicopter spokesman Dave Greenberg said Mr Finch suffered extra cuts and bruises after he was swung into a second tree while being lifted out of the first.

High winds and surrounding trees and power lines meant it had not been an easy rescue, Mr Greenberg said.

Mr Finch is in a stable condition in Wairau Hospital in Blenheim.

Grooms weds best man

A Loughborough man was horrified to learn that he had accidentally 'married' his best man.

Chris Adams, 33, had exchanged vows with bride Gemma Mortell, 19, in a Valentine's Day wedding.

But when the couple returned from honeymoon and checked the wedding certificate they had a surprise, reports the Sun.

Gemma had mistakenly signed her name in the 'witness' space - and best man Paul Hickleston had put his signature where the bride's should have been.

Chef Chris said: "I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw what we'd done. I've known my best man for over 20 years and he's a great guy - but I don't want him as my missus."

Gemma added: "When he told me Paul was down as his wife, I just laughed. I thought he was winding me up. "But it's not funny. The wedding cost a lot of money. It was the biggest day of our life and we wanted it to be just right. We'd planned it for nine months."

The couple had feared their marriage might not be legal but the Rev Elaine Skinner, who conducted the ceremony, has reassured them.

"I've told them they have nothing to worry about - any mistakes can be corrected and I can issue a new certificate," she said.

Balloon steals wedding ring

A Scarborough man lost his wedding ring - after he tied it to his son's helium balloon and it floated away.

Calum McFadyen, 35, tied the gold ring to the string of four-year-old Henry's balloon to see if he could weigh it down.

But as he watched television in the front room he heard Henry open the front door and wave goodbye to the Thomas the Tank Engine balloon as it floated off with the ring still attached.

Mr McFadyen, 35, a housing support officer, said: "The ring has not been off my hand in years - I was just messing about with the kids. I guess it could be in France now!

"My wife wasn't too impressed and told me it was a stupid thing to do. I tend to agree!

"I've been getting a ribbing from the people at work but I deserve it. Now I just want the ring back."

Wife Vicky, 36, said: "This could only happen to my husband, he's one of those people!"

Fishermen land colossal squid

New Zealand fisherman have caught what is expected to be a world-record-breaking colossal squid.

The squid, 10m long and weighing about 450kg, took two hours to land in Antarctic waters, reports the BBC. It is believed to be the first adult colossal squid landed intact. One expert said calamari rings made from it would be like tractor tyres.

"I can assure you that this is going to draw phenomenal interest. It is truly amazing," Steve O'Shea from Auckland's University of Technology told local media.

Colossal squid, found deep in Antarctic waters, are thought to be about the same length as giant squid but are much heavier. The species was first identified in 1925, but very few specimens have been found.

Fisheries Minister Jim Anderton said the fishermen had been fishing for Patagonian toothfish in deep Antarctic waters when the squid - which was eating a toothfish - was caught.

"The squid was almost dead when it reached the surface, and the careful work of the crew was paramount in getting this specimen aboard in good condition," he said.

The squid was frozen in the ship's hull and brought back to New Zealand for scientific examination.

"The colossal squid has just arrived in New Zealand and it is likely that it is the first intact adult male colossal squid to ever be successfully landed," Mr Anderton said.

Astronaut's nappy for sale on eBay

A nappy allegedly worn by a US astronaut charged with plotting to kidnap a love rival is up for grabs on eBay.

The starting bid for the Nasa-issued nappy is more than £1,000, reports Metro.

Lisa Nowak drove from Houston to Orlando wearing the nappy so she wouldn't have to stop for bathroom breaks.

She was allegedly on her way to confront a woman she believed was a rival for the affections of a fellow astronaut.

However, a bed and breakfast in Mississippi claims she stopped for something to eat and, in her rush, left the nappy behind.

The 43-year-old, who flew to the international space station last July, has been charged with attempted kidnapping, battery and other crimes.

Surgeons' lame excuse

Surgeons trying to correct the limp of a five-year-old boy in China has apologised after lengthening the wrong leg.

They say the mistake was down to the boy being anaesthetised on his back but then operated on while lying on his stomach.

Xiangya Second Hospital in Changsha city operated on Miao Mingming whose right leg is shorter than his left.

"The doctor suggested surgery to extend the withered tendon, and we agreed. But when Mingming came out of the operating room, I found his left leg was in the cast," complained his father.

The hospital has admitted its mistake and promised to take full responsibility, reports Xinhua News.

Chief doctor Zhao said: "I am very sorry about what happened. Before the surgery, the patient was lying on his back and received full anaesthesia, and then the surgery was done with the patient lying on his stomach."

Now Mingming has to undergo two more operations, one to extend the right leg, the other to shorten the extended left leg.

Mexican businessmen break kebab record

MEXICO CITY - A group of businessmen in the northern Mexican City of Chihuahua broke a tasty record Friday, making a hunk of meat on a skewer big enough to serve 24,000 tacos.

In the Friday event dubbed as the "Tacoton," the meat for a pastor taco, a variety of the Mexican dish that consists of pork squashed onto a stake, weighed 3.9 tons and was 13 feet high, Mexican government news agency Notimex reported.

Officials from the Guinness Book of World Records recognized the hunk of meat as the world's "largest skewer of kebab meat," Notimex reported.

Portions of the vast snack were sold with a drink for $1 a piece to hungry spectators. Chihuahua businessmen financed the mega taco and gave proceeds from sales to a home for abandoned children, Notimex said.

Bridge too far?

Two Macedonian men who stole two 30ft bridges have been arrested after they tried to sell them to a scrapyard.

Police said Nikodim Bozinovski and David Gorgievski had taken the two 30-foot bridges over the rivers Crna Reka and Rajec down piece by piece.

They were caught after a scrapyard dealer got suspicious when 20 trucks loaded with 200 tonnes of steel turned up at his yard.

He called police who traced the parts of the bridge and arrested the two men.

Biker's YouTube gaffe

A biker is facing a driving ban after he filmed himself speeding at 100mph and posted the clip on YouTube.

The 37-year-old, from Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset, was easily identified because he filmed himself leaving his front door.

A camera mounted behind the windshield of his 180mph Yamaha R1 shows him doing wheelies and roaring past a school and housing estate.

After the video was posted, one of the drivers he overtook left a message on the website, reports the Mirror.

The jeep driver said: "Unfortunately I am one of the cars he passed that day doing a phenomenal speed and pulling a wheelie.

"I didn't see him until he was by my side, he was very close as well and the slightest drift to the right on my part and it could have been a bit rough."

The footage was spotted by police who - in the first case of its kind - are using the video as evidence and have sent a file to the CPS. Detectives expect dangerous driving charges to be brought within the next few weeks.

Avon and Somerset police said: "He is risking a long ban. What is humorous to some could be fatal to others."

Swearing lessons

An Austrian primary school teacher is facing the sack after giving a class of nine-year-olds a lesson in swear words.

Teacher Michael Brechter, 57, who teaches at the Kematen Primary School in the province of Upper Austria, asked the kids to write homework about words like 'arse', 'sh*t', 'moron' and 'tart'.

He said: "I was not teaching them anything they did not already know.

"It was an attempt to make school lively and fun. My ultimate aim was to show what words should not be used."

£2,150 pizza

A chef has flown more than 1,000 miles to create the world's most expensive pizza for a St Valentine's Day meal.  The £2,150 treat by Glasgow restaurateur Domenico Crolla will be topped with edible gold, champagne-soaked caviar and lobster marinated in the finest cognac.

Italian lawyer Maurizio Morelli, from Rome, paid up for the pizza after winning a charity auction on eBay in November.

Mr Crolla has flown to the Italian capital to prepare the 12in pizza as a Valentine's surprise for Mr Morelli's wife, Sabrina, at the couple's local restaurant.

Mr Crolla said: "This is the perfect romantic Valentine's gift. "We Italians are experts at 'amore' and I think this pizza will show that the way to a woman's heart is definitely through her stomach."

His luxury treat has been named the Pizza Royale 007 after the expensive tastes of suave super spy James Bond. Other toppings on the organic base, spread with a sunblush tomato sauce, include Scottish smoked salmon and medallions of venison.

The pizza was created to raise funds for The Fred Hollows Foundation, which aims to prevent curable blindness in developing countries.

Teacher 'snorted coke in class'

A US schoolteacher has been arrested on suspicion of snorting cocaine in front of the class she was teaching.

Two girls, aged nine and ten, said they saw Joan Donatelli, 59, dipping a pen cap into a plastic bag filled with white powder, then putting it to her nose.

Police confronted the substitute teacher at her home in Lewiston, New York, after finding traces of white powder in the classroom, reports Metro.

She handed over a small bag of powder and two pen caps and admitting to using cocaine in front of the children.

"She stated that she had a problem, that she had an addiction, something she's been struggling with," said Sergeant Frank Previte. The school confirmed that Donatelli used to teach at the school full time, but is now retired, and acts as a substitute.

Trouser-dropping tourist arrested

A German man has been arrested after he took off his trousers in the Philippines because he was annoyed by airport security.

Hans Jurgen Oskar von Naguschewski, 66, was arrested for lasciviousness, reports the BBC.

Von Naguschewski performed the impromptu strip after being asked to go through the X-ray machine twice at Manila airport.

Instead of boarding his flight to Frankfurt, he was detained by police and is due in court where he could face a sentence of between six months and six years in jail.

"He must have been annoyed that he was asked to walk through the X-ray twice so he took off his pants," airport security chief Angel Atutubo told local reporters.

Police Superintendent Atilano Morada said: "He actually didn't say much, unlike Filipino passengers who would talk a lot. "He was clearly irked and he showed it by disrobing."

Town scraps traffic signs

A German town has scrapped all its traffic signs as part of an EU backed project to encourage responsible driving.

Dutchman Hans Monderman, who is managing the "shared space" project in the German town of Bohmte, said: "A rural town should look like a rural town and not like the Nuerburgring racing track."

The town, which has 13,000 inhabitants - also now has no traffic signs.

Monderman added: "We divide traffic into cars, bikes and pedestrians, and believe that by removing the signs we raise awareness among road users for each other. The less rules there are, the higher the risk of accidents, but also it means drivers take more care."

The only two rules are to drive on the right, and the right-before-left priority at junctions.

"The only thing that I need to know when I drive to a city, is that I am in a city," Monderman said.

Ultimate Valentine's gift

A Hollywood film photographer has bought his girlfriend the ultimate Valentine's Day gift - a gift-wrapped house.

Jasin Boland used 5,000sq ft of wrapping and a 75ft-long ribbon to cover the £500,000 house for fiancée, Maria Moral Pena. Then he flew Miss Pena, 29, in by helicopter to see the four-bedroom waterfront home, reports the Daily Telegraph.

It took five workmen using two cherry-pickers three hours to wrap the house in monoperm, a synthetic fibre usually used for covering scaffolding.

The couple met three years ago on a film set in Berlin, where Miss Pena lives. Mr Boland proposed to her on the same spot last December.

The is on the eco-friendly Lower Mill Estate development at Cotswolds Water Park near Cirencester. Mr Boland set up the surprise by telling his fiancée they were going house hunting.

She said: "At first, in the helicopter, I didn't realise what was going on. When I saw the wrapped house, I thought it was a construction area. "Then when I saw the hearts, I was completely overwhelmed. He's just so cute."

The couple plan to marry and live permanently in Britain.

Hunters shoots washing machine

A German hunter hit a washing machine, electric drier and the wall before finally killing a wild pig that was on the rampage in a house.

The pig had run into the communal wash room of a house in Ketzerbachtal in Saxony, and started shredding sheets and clothing.

Attempts to drive it out of the house failed and hunter Walter Kopinger, 57 was called to kill the animal.

Because of the confined space he used a Magnum 357 rather than his rifle but still only managed to hit the animal after several shots.

Back garden burials

A Serbian man wants to turn his home into a church because so many of his neighbours and friends are buried in his back garden

Dragan Djordjevic, 53, from the southern village of Grbavce, applied for permission to register his garden as a cemetery so his mother could be buried there when she died ten years ago.

He said: "The nearest cemetery was too far away. I thought if I buried her in the back garden I could visit her grave more often, and save time.

"Then a neighbour asked if they could bury a relative there as I had permission, and now I have 70 neighbours and friends in my back garden."

He said he has now applied for permission to turn the house into a church, daily newspaper Glas Javnosti reported.

Divorce over pumpkin pie

A Russian man divorced his wife of 18 years after finding she had been feeding him cheap pumpkins instead of courgettes.

Ivan Dimitrov, 47, was devastated to find the pies he had been eating for six months were made of pumpkins and not courgettes. Mr Dimitrov, from Voronezh, said when he realised the truth, after finding pumpkin rinds in the bin, he immediately hired a lawyer to organise a quick divorce from wife Irena, 38.

He said: "She knows I absolutely hate pumpkins and she lied to me for months about it just because the pumpkins were cheap.

"What else has she been lying about? What man could trust a woman who fed him pumpkins for half a year?"

Philosopher to live in barrel

A Dutch philosopher is planning to live for a week in a barrel.

Eric Hoekstra wants to follow the example of the ancient Greek philosopher Diogenes, reports GVA. Mr Hoekstra says he wants to prove that man doesn't need very much in order to be happy.

"Above all I want to bring the philosophy of the old Greeks back into the light," he said.

He will live in a 6ft wine barrel during a Philosophy Week of at Leeuwarden University from March 30 to April 7, apart from the occasional toilet break.

Pilot mistook road for runway

A pensioner attempting to land a plane on a road after mistaking it for the runway.

An accident report says he only noticed his mistake when he hit a speed bump, reports Sky News. The pilot believed he'd found the landing strip despite noticing "a kerb to the side and lamp posts to his left".

The 68-year-old, who has not been named, was an experienced private pilot who had clocked up more than 1,000 hours in the air.

However, he had flown for just four hours in the three months before the accident on August 24 2006 and only landed at the Shobdon Aerodrome three times before.

The accident happened during a solo flight from Coventry, the monthly bulletin from the Air Accidents Investigations Branch reports. "When close to touchdown, the pilot noticed that the airfield was different from what he remembered," it states.

"Shortly after touching down, the aircraft ran over a speed bump which caused it to veer left and leave the road." The plane's left wing hit a tree and its right was almost entirely sheared off after colliding with a lamppost.

The pilot managed to escape from wreck unscathed. The road, near Leominster, Herefordshire, was free of traffic as it had only just been built.

Personal subs launched

The world's first personal submarines have been launched with a price tag of £65,000.

Dutch designers claim the subs will make owners feel like they are "flying through the water".

The one-seater version is 9ft long, and the 11ft model seats two. Owners who really want to impress can get go-faster stripes and custom paint jobs. The tiny C-Quester can dive to 50 metres and cruise beneath the waves at up to four knots using electric-propelled thrusters.

It can stay underwater for two-and-ahalf hours straight or 36 hours in the event of an emergency.

The vessel's high-strength pressure hull allows the pilot to submerge in a totally dry cockpit and surface straight from the maximum depth without risk of decompression problems.

Makers U-Boat Worx, which took three years to perfect the subs, said: "Never before has it been possible for the public to explore the underwater world with a one-atmosphere submarine." But budding Jacques Cousteaus will need to get an underwater pilot's license before they get behind the wheel.

Hospital holds baby hostage

A Serbian hospital has refused to hand a newborn baby back to its mother until she pays her hospital fees.

Macedonian Senija Roganovic gave birth in the Neonatology Hospital in Belgrade two months ago. But her baby has been kept in the hospital ever since because she has not paid a £4,250 bill for a ten day stay.

She said she had no health insurance in Serbia, and had no way of raising the money to pay the hospital fees. Roganovic has reportedly fallen ill with worry over the fate of her child and has lost two stones in weight.

Man crossed river to avoid 'bank charges'

A Canadian rescued from a rubber raft in near-zero conditions told rescuers he was paddling to the US to avoid bank charges.

Wayne Kingwell, 40, ended up spending five hours on the Niagara River before he was rescued, reports Buffalo News. US Attorney Terrance P Flynn said investigators were trying to determine the validity of the bizarre explanation he gave.

He claimed he regularly crosses from his home in Fort Erie, Ontario, to Buffalo - using a small aluminum boat or the raft - to do his banking. "He said he was coming across the river to pay off the balance of his credit card," Flynn said.

Kingwell claimed he was charged an $85 fee if he mails the payment, so he crosses the river each month instead. There is a bridge - but Mr Kingwell claimed he was not allowed to use it because of a legal dispute with the Canadian government.

When he was rescued, authorities said, Kingwell was carrying more than $3,000 cash - enough to pay off a credit card bill that he really does owe.

Border Patrol spokesman Michael Przybyl said: "I was surprised that he'd try this on one of the coldest days of the year. "It's not the first time that this has happened. We've had attempted entries in the middle of winter. But this is the coldest that I can remember someone trying to cross on the water."

Serbian village to erect Rocky statue

A Serbian village is planning to erect a huge statue of Rocky Balboa because locals are fed up with only making the news when their village gets flooded.

The village of Zitiste has suffered regular heavy flooding and landslides in recent years, and has gained a disaster-prone reputation.

But authorities now want to unveil the statue using Rocky as a symbol of the "abilty to bounce back every time you are knocked down".

They have also asked for help from officials in the US city of Philadelphia, where a monument to Sylvester Stallone's film character already exists, local daily Kurir reported. A spokesman for the newly created Association of Rocky Balboa in the village said: "We want to create a new image of our village because up to now Zitiste has only ever been talked about when we have floods or disasters here.

"We thought long and hard about what would represent our new image, and we came up with Rocky Balboa. He is a character who never gives up and even when he looks to be beaten he picks himself up and wins through."

DJ dupes Asda

A radio joker tricked an Asda worker into announcing 'Tesco is cheaper' over the tannoy of a packed store.

A recording of the announcement is now sweeping the internet, reports the Sun.

The unknown DJ called the store asking for help finding his missing daughter 'Tess Cosis-Cheaper', who he said was inside. The customer service worker didn't spot the joke and immediately put out a call for the bogus girl - repeating her name twice.

Bosses at the store in Charlton, London, last night confessed they had no idea they had been duped.

Computer calamities

BT's Home IT Advisor service has revealed its quirkiest conversations with tech-hassled customers. Anthony Vollmer, head of home IT propositions at BT, told us: "Some of the calls we get from customers have certainly raised a smile."

They include:

Customer: "I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don't want my wife to think that it's me."
Advisor: "I will remove them for you."
Customer: "How do I get them back when she is not in?"

Advisor: "Press any key to continue."
Customer: "I can't find the 'Any' key."

Customer: "My mouse mat isn't wired up."
Advisor: "I'm not sure I understand, your mouse mat shouldn't have any wires."
Customer: "Well how does it know where my mouse is? Is it wireless?"

Customer: "I met a man on the internet, can you give me his phone number?"

Advisor: "You have spyware on your machine which is causing the problem."
Customer: "Spyware? Can they see me getting dressed through the monitor?"

Customer: "How do I change channel on my monitor?"
Advisor: "Your monitor won't have channels like a TV."
Customer: "But I was watching the internet channel the other day and now I just get the word processing channel."

Advisor: "Can you click on 'My Computer'?"
Customer: "I don't have your computer, just mine."

Customer: "My 14 year-old son has put a password on my computer and I can't get in."
Advisor: "Has he forgotten it?"
Customer: "No he just won't tell me it because I've grounded him."

Customer: "My iPod will only play one song."
Advisor: "Which other tracks have you downloaded from iTunes?"
Customer: "Do I need to download tracks?"

Customer: "My family in Australia use BT Softphone, I can see them but they can't see me."
Advisor: "What brand is your webcam?"
Customer: "What's a webcam?"

Soft porn for bus passengers

Bus passengers in Sofia are being shown soft porn films on giant video screens at night.

During the day the plasma screens in the Bulgarian capital show bus times, but the night shift now has the porn films on view.

A spokesman for the station management said: "We wanted to give the passengers something to take their minds off the cold and to pass the time while waiting for a bus, and there are unlikely to be children around that time of night."

The move however has angered many, including mothers with young children, who say the movies are a disgrace. They also claim the security guards have stopped patrolling for troublemakers, and spend their time watching the giant screens instead.

Prison turns away escaped convict

An escaped convict tried to give himself up - but was turned away from prison because he had no identity card.

Hakim Ghazouani, 24, had escaped from prison in Ghent, after a visit to the doctor last month.Police issued national warnings about Ghazouani who was in jail for robbery and drug dealing.

His solicitor, Nathalie Buisseret, persuaded him to turn himself in and accompanied him to a prison at Verviers.

But she said: "There we found he was denied access because he couldn't show his identity card. The warden told the man to come back later with his papers, which he did."

Verviers Prison director Pierre Detilloux said: "We never had seen the man before and we couldn't identify him. It would have been a scandal if we locked up the wrong person."

Postman caught with 10 tonnes of letters

A Mexican postman has been arrested after the police found 10 tonnes of undelivered letters in his house.

The postman, who cannot be named, had been keeping mail posted from Ciudad Juarez to the US hoping to find money.

Police officers found 1,100 bags filled with letters dating back to 1999 in his house.

A police spokesperson said: "We were tipped and folowing an investigation we searched his house and found all the unsent mail

"All the bags put together amount to over 10 tonnes but they will now be sent to their destination."

Police probe underwear

Police in a Wiltshire village have been trying to get to the bottom of an underwear mystery.

Around 30 pairs of knickers have been found draped over road signs and gravestones in Purton, near Swindon. No-one has reported the items as stolen and they all appear to be new and of quite good quality, reports the BBC.

Phil Elliott from Purton Police said: "If it's a practical joke and someone could just let us in on it, then that would be great." He said police had been recovering various pieces of women's underwear since November.

He added: "We don't know if it's a criminal offence or a prank. If it's a prank, please tell us."

Woman addicted to anti-smoking aid

A Plymouth woman says she's become addicted to the nicotine inhaler she used to help her give up smoking.

Gail Fedrick, 46, quit her 30-a-day habit a year ago thanks to the inhaler, reports the Daily Mirror.

But now she is spending more on cartridges for the Nicorette Inhalator than she did on cigarettes. And the mum-of-four has panic attacks unless she takes it with her at all times.

She said: "If the inhaler is not in my pocket I shake and panic. I am addicted to it now."

The instructions are to start with 12 nicotine cartridges a day then gradually reduce them. funnBut shop worker Gail, from Plymouth, is hooked on three cartridges a day, spending £40 a month - £8 more than she was spending on rolling tobacco.

Manufacturers Pfizer said: "When used as directed, there is a low dependence potential."

Mariah Carey fan banned from pub

A Southampton man has been banned from his local pub for playing Mariah Carey songs on the jukebox.

Landlord Roy Dann finally snapped and banned Jeff Donovan for playing his idol's songs 20 times a day - for six years.

Regulars at the Gordon Arms were particularly fed up with All I Want for Christmas which he played all year round, reports the Daily Mirror. Jeff, 35, who is single, said: "I love Mariah and listen to her over and over again, but other people obviously didn't share my musical taste.

"At the start when the landlord threatened to bar me I thought he was joking. All my mates drink there. I'm gutted. I don't want to find another local, I like this one."

Roy, 32, said: "To start with we found it amusing. I actually used to like Mariah before. But the other customers just had enough of listening to the same songs over and over again.

"I gave him plenty of warnings but he just laughed and told me the customer is always right. I don't care what he says now, he's not coming back into my pub."

Bull sperm hair treatment

A hairdresser is offering clients a new conditioning treatment made out of bull's semen.

The 45-minute treatment costs £55 and uses semen from Aberdeen Angus bulls on a farm in Cheshire. Hari's, in Knightsbridge, London, combines the sperm with the root of protein-rich plant katera, reports Metro.

The mixture is massaged into the client's hair after it has been shampooed. Then the customer is put under a steamer so the treatment penetrates the hair. Finally, it is blow-dried.

Salon owner Hari Salem said: "I have been searching for an organic product with a lot of protein because that is what hair is made of and lacks when it is dry.

"The semen is refrigerated before use and doesn't smell. It leaves your hair looking wonderfully soft and thick."

First hair wash for 26 years

An 80-year-old Chinese man has washed his hair for the first time in 26 years.

It took 12 people five hours to wash Luo Shiyuan's 6ft long hair and 5ft beard /Lu Feng

Shampoo had little effect on Luo Shiyuan's matted 6ft long hair and 5ft beard so the whole family pitched in with washing powder, reports Chongqing Morning Papers.

In all, it took 12 people - including his son, daughter-in-law, grandchildren and neighbours - five hours and three family bags of washing powder.

When his hair was finally clean, locals in the remote mountain village of Red Flag, near Chongqing city, said they would try to get his name in the record books.

Jesus kits on sale

Vatican officals are said to be disgusted after Jesus fancy dress kits went on sale in Italy.

The £8.40 party pack also contains a plastic crown of thorns and a false beard. Vatican priest Father Vittorino Gorss said: "This is an insult and blasphemous to millions of believers."

One shopkeeper selling the kit in the build up to Lent said: "I can't see what the problem is. It's only a wig and beard."

Jag runs on apples

A Somerset farmer has converted his Jag so it runs on rotting apple fumes.

Henry Hobhouse, 52, who lives near Castle Cary, packs two underground tanks full of apples and collects the methane gas producted as they rot.

The 3-litre XJ6 saloon now runs on methane and costs around 40p a litre. Henry says the 145mph car gains 10% in power by running on compressed methane and still returns around 28mpg.

Mr Hobhouse said: "I'm an anorak on green issues. We've got to be taking responsibility for our own actions on a local level. "We are miles behind the rest of Europe as you can buy this sort of fuel around France, Germany and Italy."

He plans to install two small methane-making plants below ground at his farm at Hadspen.

Thief caught by false teeth

A suspected car thief was tracked down by police after he left his false teeth at the crime scene.

Police say Wojtek Lekowsky, 54, broke into a car in Czarna Dabrowka in northwest Poland and stole a stereo, but lost his teeth when he tried to make a quick getaway after the car alarm went off.

He was tracked down using dental records. Police charged him with robbery.

Police spokesman Roman Krakowiak said: "He tried to tell us that while the false teeth were his and they had been stolen from him, and he had not been anywhere near the car at the time of the theft. But we knew he is lying through his dentures."

Mozart bounces back after losing penis

An Iguana called Mozart is enjoying a healthy sex life again - despite losing his penis at the weekend.

Vets amputated Mozart's penis so he could walk again after suffering from a permanent erection that had put his health at risk.

A spokesman for the Aquatopia zoo in Belgium said: "It was bad for his heart. But as male iguana's have a second penis the operation has not affected Mozart's performance.

"He was returned to his mates, and it was clear from the first day his sex life has not been affected."

TV cartoon sparks terror alert

A promotion for a new TV cartoon show sparked a major security alert in the US city of Boston.

Major roads and bridges were closed off and bomb squads sent in as mystery objects with wires hanging from them were found.

The first device was found at a subway and bus station underneath Interstate 93, forcing police to shut down the station and road. Another was blown up by a bomb disposal squad.

Eventually Turner Broadcasting, the Cartoon Network's parent company, confessed that it was behind the confusion. The packages of harmless magnetic, blinking lights were part of a promotion for the TV show Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Turner said they had been in place for two to three weeks in 10 US cities: Boston, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Austin, San Francisco and Philadelphia.

"The packages in question are magnetic lights that pose no danger," the company said. "We regret that they were mistakenly thought to pose any danger."

Dead pets into diamonds

Pet owners can now turn their dead animals into diamonds.

The gems are made using carbon from the pet's ashes at Pet Crematorium CPC, of Thiplow, Hertfordshire. The crematorium charges between £2,100 to £15,000 depending on the size of the diamond, reports Metro.

The firm's spokesman, Duncan Francis said: "Having a stunning diamond created from the pet's ashes provides an everlasting link which some people find very comforting."

Man 'taught sons to drink and smoke'

Police have questioned a Polish father for allegedly teaching his young sons to drink and smoke.

The man's wife showed police a film clip on her mobile phone of him with their four sons, aged between two and eight.

Mariusz Lechniak, 35, from Warsaw, reportedly told officers he wanted to make sure his sons turned into real men. His wife Irene became suspicious after her two-year-old son walked into the kitchen with a cigarette.

And when her husband refused to stop and also started giving the boys beer, she made the video clip which she gave to police.

World's youngest transexual, 12

A boy believed to be the youngest sex change patient in the world wants to bring forward the operation two years.

The German youngster, christened Tim and now called Kim, was allowed to start hormone treatment at the age of 12. Now aged 14, Kim told Germany's Stern TV his dearest wish was to have the final cosmetic surgery to remove male genitalia when he is 16.

Under German law the operation can not take place until Kim is 18, which would mean either a law change or traveling abroad.

Pictures of him on German TV showed Kim looking like a typical teenage girl, playing with strands of his long hair while seated in the pink attic bedroom of his parents' house.

He keeps a piggybank filled with change he has been saving for the operation - since the age of five, even though all the costs so far have been paid by the German National Health Service.

When he was just two Tim tried on his older sister's clothes and played with Barbies. As soon as he could speak he told his parents "I'm a girl" and later had a row where he declared he wanted to "cut off my thing".

His father, named only as Lutz P. for legal reasons, said they realised then it was not just a phase and that the problem was serious.

Kim's mother, who has not been named, said: "If your child has a heart defect you send him to a specialist, but when your child is transsexual, everyone seems to have an opinion."

Kim's family turned to Dr. Bernd Meyenburg, head of a clinic for children with identity disturbances at Frankfurt university. He has studied transsexuality since the 1970s but said Kim was a "real dilemma".

He said: "If we do something about it, it's irreversible. And if we allow nature to take its course, that too is irreversible." He added however that: "it would have been a crime to let Kim grow up as a man".

Golfer's nightmare

A Taiwanese golfer lost his memory after hitting a hole-in-one.

Wang, 50, was playing golf with friends at a course in Xinzu city when it happened. "The ball flew and dropped directly into the hole, which is a standard three-par hole," said one of his friends.

Wang was initially overjoyed - but when his friends picked up the ball and came to congratulate him they found him muttering on a hill and asking: "Why am I here?"

He was sent to the hospital immediately and doctors diagnosed him as suffering a blackout or temporary memory loss. After a couple of hours of rest, Wang's memory was pieced together again, but his golfing success was still missing.

When Wang revisited the doctor a week later, he still didn't remember the hole-in-one, reports Taiwan News.

Man loses wife at poker

A Russian man lost his wife in a game of cards after putting her up as a stake instead of cash.

Andrei Karpov, from Murmansk, had run out of money in a game of poker and offered his opponent his wife instead of cash to stay in the game.

When he lost the game and his opponent Sergey Brodov turned up to claim his winnings his wife Tatiana was so angry she decided to divorce her husband and started a relationship with Brodov.

She has since married Brodov, and said she does not regret leaving her first husband.

She said: "It was humiliating and I was utterly ashamed. But as soon as my ex-husband did that I knew I had to leave him.

"Sergey was a very handsome, charming man and I am very happy with him, even if he did 'win' me in a poker game."

Pink milk problem solved

A farmer whose cows produced pink milk after eating carrots got them to produce normal coloured milk by feeding them white carrots instead.

Peter Houguez from Jersey added carrots to the cows' diet of grass and hay. After the milk turned pink Mr Houguez contacted his local vet who told him to feed them white carrots, imported from France.

According to the Metro, Mr Houguez said: "The cows go mad for carrots. White carrots taste just same as orange so the problem was solved."

Ian Johnson, of the National Farmers' Union, said cows are fed all sorts of things - including liquorice allsorts.Mr Johnson said: "Pink milk is probably healthier with all the nutrients from the vegetables."

Man kept contact lenses in for a year

A Chinese man had to have his contact lenses surgically removed after he did not take them out for a year.

Liu, 40, started to wear contact lenses a year ago and never took them out because he found it difficult. "I only have some eye drops for when they feel uncomfortable," he told Chutian City News.

Liu recently felt his eyesight was getting worse, so he bought another pair of lenses and wore them on top of the old ones. But when his eyesight still didn't improve, he took another startling decision.

"I put a pair of used disposal contact lenses over the other two pairs in my eyes. By then, I was wearing three pairs of lenses," he said. By the next day, Liu's eyes had reacted badly to his DIY eyecare and he finally sought medical attention.

A doctor was shocked to find the first lenses had grown into his eyes and surgery was needed to take them out.

Cat put on happy pills

A cat has been put on anti-depressants after being bullied by other cats.

Twiglet's weight ballooned to 15lb because she was too scared to go out.

Her owner Jackie Martin, 28, had to install a bigger cat flap because Twiglet was too fat to get through. Jackie took her to a vet, who prescribed amitriptyline - similar to Prozac, reports the Sun.

Jackie said: "She was given the drugs to calm her down and alleviate her anxieties. "The problem is, you need to hold her jaw and drop the tablets in but she was a violent cat."

Twiglet began to get better as a result of the tablets and when the bullying ginger tom moved away. Twiglet is now average weight after shedding 6lb in five months.

Nuns on the run

Fifty-five nuns - all called Maria - are on the run after racking up debts of £400,000.

The women had secretly run a knitwear company on the side for ten years. Their convent supplied 25 shops and they blew money traveling to fashion shows across Europe, reports the Sun.

The nuns of St Kyrikos and Ioulite in Northern Greece hit money problems after spending huge sums on new machinery.

Their expensive knitting machines were put on a lorry and the sisters disappeared a few days later. Greek Orthodox Church officials believe they may be hiding at a monastery in Volos, Central Greece.

The nuns' lawyer Dionysios Pelekis said they had asked church superiors to settle the debt by selling 16 convent-owned properties. But the request was refused.

Man marries himself

A Chinese man has married himself to express his "dissatisfaction with reality".

Liu Ye, 39, from Zhuhai city, married a life sized foam cut-out of himself wearing a woman's bridal dress.

"There are many reasons for marrying myself, but mainly to express my dissatisfaction with reality," he said. "This marriage makes me whole again. My definition of marriage is different from others."

The ceremony was held at a traditional courtyard packed with more than 100 guests.The 'couple' were led out by a bridesmaid and a groomsman and bowed to ancestors and senior guests for blessings.

Liu says he is not gay, but admits he's "maybe a bit narcissistic", reports New Express.

Pupils allowed to smoke - in a cage

A Belgian school is to let pupils smoke - but only if they stand in a cage and wear a graphic badge.

The badge shows an x-ray image of a pair of lungs, blackened by smoking, reports De Morgen. The new rule will be introduced for pupils over the age of 16 at the Vesalius Institute in Ostende in February.

Assistant-director Claudine Lesaffre said: "We do a lot to promote a healthy lifestyle in our school.

"One third of our 600 students smoke. We've been trying to motivate the youngsters over the years, encouraged teachers to attend smoke free courses. But nothing seems to help. "By wearing the badge, students expresses it is by their own free will they are damaging their health. If this won't help, I don't know what to do anymore."

But the students seem more concerned about having to smoke in a cage than wearing the badge. One is quoted as saying: "It's like putting us in a cage in the zoo."

The Belgian Commissioner For Children's Rights, Ankie Vandekerckhove, criticised the move. She said: "It's stigmatising for the students, because they will be looked at by the whole school. They can take measures that are far better than that badge or that cage."

Queuing for success in Kazakhstan

A new company in Kazakhstan charges customers to take their places in the country's notorious queues.

For a small hourly fee, it provides people to stand in line for clients and then phone them when they are nearly at the front. It also offers a more expensive service where the client gives the company power of attorney to take care of everything.

The company was set by two entrepreneurs in Astana, the capital of Kazakhstan, reports the Express-K newspaper.Queues to see state officials for personal business, such as applying for ID papers and driving licenses and registering property, are notorious in Kazakhstan.

"We can stand any kind of a queue," says Ruslan Akkuzhin, deputy director of the company. "As a rule, the worst queues are related to real estate issues.". The two directors currently do all of the work themselves but say they may soon have to expand.

Woman gets 75,000 bank statements

A woman who asked for her bank statement was sent financial details of 75,000 other customers too.

Stephanie McLaughlan, 22, received five packages from Halifax Bank of Scotland, each containing 500 sheets crammed with confidential information. Each page details 30 customers' names, their account and sort code numbers and how much they have paid in and out.

According to the Mirror, Stephanie from Aberdeen said: "I did not expect them to be so lax with security as to be sending out private and confidential information of so many of their customers.

"In the wrong hands these documents would allow criminals to run amok through people's personal and financial lives." The bank has apologised and is launching an immediate inquiry.

Husband's underpant tantrum destroys home

An angry husband who threw old clothes into the garden and set fire to them because he couldn't find any clean underpants accidentally burnt his home down.

Ivo Jerbic, 55, from Prikraj, near Zagreb, told police he had lost his temper after failing to find any clean underpants in a closet full of old clothes.

He had thrown them all in the garden and set fire to them.He told police: "My wife never throws anything out, I just lost my temper."

But the fire spread to the house which burned to the ground. Local news agency Hina reported that Jerbic could end up in jail for up to eight years for putting other family members in danger, even though no one was injured.

Pulling pints for nearly 60 years

A man claims he is Britain's longest-serving landlord after pulling pints at the same pub for 58 years.

Dick Grainger, 87, is about to celebrate six decades as a publican of The Wharf Tavern in Stalybridge, Greater Manchester.

Dick and his wife Kathleen are throwing a party to mark their 60th anniversary as publicans and will be joined by their five children, ten grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. According to the Sun, a spokesman for the British Beer and Pub Association said: "Dick deserves immense credit for the services he has provided over the years."

Man allegedly zaps wife's grandmother

NORTH BONNEVILLE, Wash. - A man who said he used a stun gun on his wife's 79-year-old grandmother was arrested for investigation of domestic assault.

Aaron de Bruyn, 26, was cited with fourth-degree domestic violence assault Wednesday and released from the Skamania County jail Thursday, Police Chief Calvin Owens said. The grandmother wasn't injured.

De Bruyn said he was arguing with Rosemary Garlock, who accused him of abusing his 7-month-old son when he swatted the boy's diapered bottom to stop him from grabbing electrical wires.

When she refused to leave, he said he shocked her on her right shoulder as she sat on the living room couch.

"She yelped, because getting Tased hurts," de Bruyn told The Columbian newspaper.

De Bruyn said he had the 50,000-volt Taser X26 energy weapon to protect against burglars. He said he called authorities, saying he had a relative in his house who would not leave.

De Bruyn's stun gun was confiscated.

"If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't," he said.

Delayed convict steals car to get back to jail

DUBLIN, Jan 25 (Reuters Life!) - An Irish convict who stole a car to get back to prison after missing a weekend release deadline has been given a six month suspended jail sentence.

Trevor Doyle, 25, grabbed the vehicle after falling asleep on a bus and overshooting his stop near Shelton Abbey open prison in Arklow on Ireland's southeast coast, Wexford district court officials said Thursday.

The court, which would not reveal the man's prior conviction, also fined him 300 euros ($390) for failing to submit to a breathalyzer test.

Patient nips to loo and loses bed

A hospital patient went to the loo and returned to find staff had given her bed to another woman.

Pat Roberts, 68, was away from her bed for less than 20 minutes, reports the Sun.

Staff at the Royal Devon and Exeter Hospital told her she would have to wait for another bed. Husband Ron said: "I was with my wife and helped her to the bathroom. When we returned it was not a case of them making up the bed, it was already full.  "We were only away from the bed for the time it took me to push her through the ward to the toilet and back again."

A spokeswoman for the hospital said they would investigate the incident.

Cat and mouse case for cops

Police were called in after a cat tried to pull a mouse out of a jam jar and got its head stuck.

Officers said the incident was reminiscent of a Tom and Jerry cartoon, reports the Peterborough Evening Telegraph.  A motorist went to a police station for help after finding the cat wandering beside a road in Peterborough, with the jar on its head and the mouse millimeters from its nose.

A receptionist and three officers pulled and twisted but were unable to release the cat.  Eventually the animal freed itself - and the mouse - by smashing the jar on the floor of Thorpe Wood police station. 

"It was like a scene from Tom and Jerry," said a police spokeswoman.  "I don't think anyone had ever seen anything like it before. The mouse ran off - it's still running around Thorpe Wood police station somewhere."

Man with mannequin fetish sent to prison

PONTIAC, Mich. - A man who acknowledged a sexual fetish for female-shaped mannequins was sentenced Thursday to more than a year in prison after repeatedly breaking into storefront windows.

Ronald Dotson, 39, of Detroit, was sentenced to 18 months to 30 years on charges of breaking and entering and being a habitual criminal.

He was arrested in October after police in the Detroit suburb of Royal Oak spotted him near a smashed storefront window containing a mannequin wearing a French maid outfit.

The arrest came less than a week after he had been paroled for his sixth breaking-and-entering conviction in 13 years. Some of the previous cases also involved mannequins. Police once found him in an alley behind a women's clothing store with three mannequins dressed in lingerie.

"I've never been able to take care of myself," Dotson told Judge Denise Langford Morris at sentencing.

Morris acknowledged that Dotson had never assaulted a person but said his behavior "strikes fear in the community."

Huge python makes a meal of 11 guard dogs

Guard dogs protecting a fruit orchard in Malaysia have met their match -- a 7.1-metre-long (23-ft-long) python that swallowed at least 11 hounds before it was finally discovered by villagers.

"I was shocked to see such a huge python," orchard-keeper Ali Yusof told the New Straits Times in an article published beneath a picture of the captured snake, which was almost long enough to span the width of a tennis court and as thick as a tree trunk.

Villagers did not harm the snake, which was tied to a tree then handed to wildlife officials, the paper said on Friday.

Road campaigner crashes on new road

A man who led a 30-year campaign for a new bypass has become the first person to crash on it.

Jim Burley fought for the bypass in Pegswood, Northumberland, to reduce heavy traffic through the village.
Parish council chairman Jim, 70, and his wife Eunice, 69, were not seriously hurt when their Vauxhall van was in a head-on collision with another van.

The accident was on a section of the bypass which is open to traffic while work continues to complete the remaining stretch. Jim told the Sun: "I can certainly see the irony in being involved in the first accident on a bypass for which I have been campaigning for 20 to 30 years.

"Other parish councillors have been ringing to say they can't believe it was me involved in the accident when I have been making a song and dance about the bypass for years."

Dumped bride uses dog as groom

A dumped bride went ahead with her wedding reception - using her dog to replace the groom.

Emma Knight, 41, was dumped two weeks before her wedding to Paul Fox, 37. To cheer herself up she decided to go ahead with her wedding reception anyway. She dressed her faithful dog Dennis up as the bridegroom and he was treated to a piece of the four-tier wedding cake.

Emma wore the £1,500 wedding dress she had bought and partied until the small hours with her 100 guests. The next day Emma flew to France with her best pal on a pre-booked honeymoon to St Malo, France. To try and recoup some of her £3,000 losses, Emma, of Portland, Dorset, is selling items bought for the wedding in a local paper.

According to the Sun she said: "It's the best we could make of a bad situation. We had a great time."

Worst sound in the world revealed...

A quest to identify the worst noise in the world has ended with top 'honours' going to the sound of someone vomiting.

The year-long online study, which attracted 1.1m votes, ranked microphone feedback as the second worst sound.Crying babies and the scrapes and squeaks of train wheels were joint third, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Some sounds expected to figure highly in the poll, did not do so. Fingernails being dragged down a blackboard came 16th while the dreaded dentist's drill was only 20th.The study, set up by Trevor Cox, a professor of acoustic engineering at Salford University, sought opinions on 34 sounds at the website www.sound101.org.

"From a scientific perspective, we really don't understand why some sounds are so horrible, but our reactions are part of what makes us human," he said. "If, as engineers, we can learn what offends people then, in some cases, we may be able to engineer them out of existence or at least reduce their impact."

Fox goes shoe shopping

A fox forced a posh shoe shop to close its doors for the day.

The fox decided to have a look at the shoes in Office in Portobello Road, West London.It followed a shopper inside before wandering around the footwear displays, then settling down with snome trainers, reports Metro.

Shop manager Sarah Adeyemi said: "Nobody even noticed him when he first walked in because he was just trotting along behind a woman and a pram, minding his mown business.

"The shop was quite busy, so it wasn't long before he was spotted and then there was a real commotion. We often deal with wasps and pigeons but have never had a fox to visit."

RSPCA officers eventually cornered the fox behind the till, and took him to be released into the countryside.

Woman passes test after 23 years

A woman has finally passed her driving test after 23 years.

Maria McCarthy started taking lessons when she was 17.She has had over 250 lessons and ten instructors.

Maria from Sidmouth, Devon, claims she had "driving dyslexia" which stopped her negotiating roundabouts and corners.According to the Sun, she said: "Nothing about driving came easily to me. It was a mixture of nerves and lack of ability."

Blind man caught speeding keeps disability pension

A blind Spanish man caught in a radar trap driving 100mph has been allowed to keep his disability pension after proving he could not see.

Benefit officials tried to strip the disability allowance from Domingo Merino after he was snapped doing 154kmh (98mph) near Barcelona.He also faced having to repay a £360,000 insurance payment for the loss of his sight in a car accident in 1996. Insurers Mapfre said the charge proved he could see.

But a Barcelona court threw out the claims after Merino explained he had wanted to drive one more time. He said he had persuaded his wife to sit beside him telling where to steer as he travelled along a straight stretch of road.

Beer for dogs

A brewery in the Netherlands has created a beer - especially for dogs.Kwispelbier makes the special brew from a mix of beef extract and malt.

The beverage is the brainchild of pet shop owner Gerrie Berendsen from the eastern town of Zelhem.The beer is non-alcoholic and fit for human consumption, but costs four times as much as a Heineken.

Ms Berendsen said: "Once a year we go to Austria to hunt with our dogs, and at the end of the day we sit on the verandah and drink a beer. So we thought, my dog also has earned it."

Asbo for singing Gary Glitter hits

A woman has been given an Asbo - for singing Gary Glitter songs in the bath.

Mother of two, Caroline Bishop, 39, sang songs like Leader Of The Gang to annoy neighbours.

Alistair and Kerry Law complained they endured months of harassment in Ingham, Lincolnshire.According to the Sun, Mrs Law said: "You could hear it from my kitchen with the window shut - day in, day out."

Council spokeswoman, Belinda Moore, said: "In isolation these matters would be trivial, but they occurred many times."The Asbo bans Bishop from loud singing or shouting, and abusing or harassing neighbours.

She said: "We are being victimised."

Farmers show bottle to find love

Lonely farmers in North Wales are to be pictured on milk cartons to help them find love.

Dairy co-operative Calon Wen is behind the 'Fancy a Farmer?' campaign, reports the Daily Post.

Stickers on Calon Wen's organic milk will feature three men and two women looking for a date.

Among them is 30-year-old Iwan Jones, of Groes Bach, Groes, near Denbigh, who dreamt up the idea.

He said: "It's a bit of a laugh really - but if I was approached by an attractive young lady I wouldn't turn her away."

Mr Jones is a director of Calon Wen, a co-operative of 20 Welsh organic dairy farmers, which has joined forces with a Welsh online dating agency.

By logging onto www.pishyn.com, shoppers can discover how to meet the farmer of their dreams.

Mr Jones said: "The Welsh countryside is a great place to live, with stunning scenery, but it can be a hard place to find a date as I'm finding out!"

Mr Jones admitted the two young women were recruited to the campaign "after a bit of arm-twisting".

"We didn't want to be accused of being sexist," he said.

'Dead' duck survives two days in fridge

A duck has been found alive in a fridge two days after being shot.

The duck was discovered alive after the hunter's wife opened the door and the duck lifted his head.at their home in Talahassee, Florida.

Local vet Laina Whipple said: "The man's wife was going to check on the refrigerator because it hadn't been working right and when she opened the door, it looked up at her.

"She freaked out and told the daughter to take it to the hospital right then and there."

The duck was transferred to Goose Creek Wildlife Sanctuary, where it was been treated for wounds to its wing and leg.

Sanctuary veterinarian David Hale said it will probably never be released back into the wild, reports the BBC.

He said the duck, which has a low metabolism, could have survived in a big enough refrigerator, especially if the door was opened and closed several times.

Patient fixes hospital machine

A Bosnian hospital patient spent seven hours repairing hospital machinery so his operation could go ahead.

Doctors had told car mechanic Slobodan Mocevic, 56, his operation to remove a kidney stone was cancelled because of faulty equipment.

Mocevic asked to borrow a set of tools and then stripped down and repaired the Extracorporeal shock wave lithotripsy machine at the hospital in Kasindol.

He said: "I was in agony, and there was no way I could have waited any longer."

The device removes kidney stones by sending a sonic wave through a patient's body to break up the stone.

Trapped drunk rang out SOS on church bell

A drunk man who fell asleep and got trapped inside a church rang out SOS in morse code with the bell.

When the man awoke in St Faith's Church in Havant, near Portsmough, he found the doors locked.

Reportedly worried about ghosts, he started ringing out the morse code for SOS on the church bell, reports Portsmough Today.

As dusk began to fall, he was still ringing for his life but eventually a local resident realised something was wrong.

He alerted two Police Community Support Officers who, in turn, contacted church verger Vicki Mockford who came to the rescue.

She said: "I was called by police saying someone was using the bell as a sign they were trapped.

"When we found him inside he told us he went into the church to have a sit down but fell asleep. He told the police he had been drinking which may have made him a bit dozy.

"He looked quite embarrassed about the whole incident when we found him. Maybe after this he might consider taking up bell ringing as a hobby."

Britain's unluckiest man?

'Britain's unluckiest man' - who has suffered 16 major accidents - is laid up again after falling down a manhole.

John Lyne's misfortunes have included two lightning strikes, a rock-fall in a mine, nearly drowning and three car crashes.

Mr Lyne, 54, of Stainforth, near Doncaster, will be out of action for 32 weeks after his latest mishap, reports the Doncaster Free Press.

The accident damaged his back and injured his left leg and both knees - on top of a lifetime of broken bones.

Mr Lyne says he's not bitter - just glad to be alive.

"Everyone thinks it is just hilarious," he said. "My mates, family and wife Susan just laugh about it.

"I don't think there is any reason or explanation for it though, it has just happened really. I have to particularly be careful on the Friday 13ths, when a few accidents have fallen."

Mr Lyne's mishaps cover a lifetime. As a child, he fell off a horse and cart - only to be run over by a delivery van.

When he was a teenager, he broke his arm falling from a tree. On his way back from hospital, his bus crashed, breaking the same arm in another place. The date was Friday the 13th.