Funeral procession breathalysed

Police have been criticised in Holland after officers halted a funeral procession to carry out breathalyser tests.

The mourners had just left the church in Enschede and were on their way to the cemetery in Usselo.

The hearse and the four following cars were allowed to drive on.

But ten cars driven by family and friends were pulled over and many arrived too late to attend the burial.

"I find it very strange that people taking part in a funeral procession were pulled over to be breathalysed," said council member Jurgen Van Houdt.

"The police could have waited until after the funeral."

The police declined to comment.

Pill to stop an ill wind

German scientists have developed a pill that stops cattle breaking wind.

Methane emissions from cattle are responsible for 4% of harmful greenhouse gas emissions, and any reduction would be a major contribution to reducing global warming.

Scientists at the University of Hohenheim in Germany say they have now tested a pill which in combination with a special diet and strict feeding times should make cattle less harmful to the climate.

The pill, which is still being tested, breaks down the methane in the cows' stomachs, and also has health benefits for the cattle.

Winfried Drocher, head of the faculty for animal nutrition at the university, said: "It will make this energy available for the cows' metabolism. The cattle can use the methane to produce glucose instead of just passing it out and it will enable them to produce more milk."

The only problem at the moment is that the pill is about the size of a fist, which is hard to persuade the cows to swallow.

"It needs to be this big as it dissolves slowly, releasing active ingredients over several months. Our aim is to increase the well-being of the cows and to reduce the emission of greenhouse gasses," said Drocher.

Forced to pee in sick bag

An air passenger says he was forced to urinate into an airsick bag after flight attendants refused to let him use the toilet.

James Whipple says he was repeatedly prevented from entering the bathroom during a SkyWest Airlines flight from Boise to Salt Lake City.

Mr Whipple told the Salt Lake Tribune: "It was like I had no choice. I started to urinate on myself. So, thinking the way I thought, I grabbed one of those vomit bags.

"I didn't think I did anything wrong. I could have relieved myself all over my pants. It was almost like that was what she preferred me to do."

The captain had left the 'fasten seat belt' light on during the hour-long flight because the bathroom was unusable - the light was out.

"I really had to go. I kept asking three or four times, 'may I use the bathroom?' She kept telling me no. The fourth time I asked, we were in final descent, which was her excuse," Mr Whipple said.

Mr Whipple, from Salt Lake City, discreetly used the sick bag but was confronted by the flight attendant and admitted what he had done.

When the plane reached the terminal, he was arrested and taken to a police station at the airport. No charges were filed and he was allowed to go home after two hours.

A SkyWest spokeswoman said Mr Whipple had wanted to use the bathroom while the "fasten seat belt" light was illuminated, which was against Federal Aviation Administration regulations.

But the airline apologised to him on behalf of the attendant and promised to send him some travel vouchers.

Naked OAP joyrider

Police are hunting for a naked pensioner spotted joyriding around a bowling green on a Shopmobility scooter in Scotland.

A passer-by was stunned to see the man - thought to be in his seventies - on the vehicle, which has a top speed of 3mph.

The witness, concerned that the naked pensioner would be seen by children at a neighbouring play park in Perth, called police.

A spokesman for Tayside Police said: "When the complainer called the police, the pensioner put his clothes on and drove off.

"The area was searched but there was no trace of the male involved."

Man cuts off genitals in drunken rage

A Polish man cut off his own genitals in a drunken fit of rage after his wife left him.

Tadeus Konopizc, 40, from Zakopane, slashed off his penis and testicles with a six inch kitchen knife after downing more than a bottle of vodka.

He managed to call doctors to tell them what he had done and they sent a special helicopter rescue team to fly him to the northern town of Bialystok where surgeons specialise in sewing back severed organs.

But heavy fog on the way delayed the helicopter and by the time they reached the hospital doctors said it was too late to reattach the man's private parts.

He is now expected to undergo months of surgery as doctors attempt to re-build his penis using skin from elsewhere on his body.

Man sues over snowball

A US private detective is suing a man for £2,250 - plus courts costs - for throwing a snowball at him.

William Elich, 46, claims he was about to enter a restaurant in Portland, Oregon, when Greg Ely, 32, came by in a Hummer with a "dashboard lined with snowballs".

One snowball hit Mr Elich in the head, breaking his glasses and bruising his left eyeball, reports the Oregonian.

Mr Elich said the loss of his bifocal glasses forced him to miss work as a private investigator for eight to 10 days while he waited for a new pair.

Mr Ely, a stone mason, claims he has the wrong man: "I didn't throw a snowball at anyone," he insisted.

But Mr Elich is adamant. He says that, after he was struck with the snowball, he looked through his remaining good eye and noted the number plate of the Hummer.

He called called police, who visited Mr Ely but didn't pursue any charges. Officers said it was one man's word against another.

But Mr Elich would not let the matter drop and is pursuing the case in civil court.

"I don't need the money," he said. "He needs to learn a lesson... This is a 32-year-old man acting like a 16-year-old."

Dog eats dentures

A Jack Russell terrier was rushed into surgery - after eating his owner's false teeth.

One-year-old Desmond gobbled down Marjorie Johnson's dentures when she was in the loo, reports the Mirror.

The teeth showed up on X-rays and vets had to open up his stomach in a £1,200 three-hour op.

Gran Marjorie, 62, of South Shields, South Tyneside, said: "He's eaten them for the fun of it. He's very mischievous.

"When I got back he was looking all sheepish."

The terrier had previously chewed slippers, shoes and TV wires.

Buddhist dilemma over ants

Buddhist monks in Malaysia are struggling to combat an infestation of stinging red ants - without killing any of them.

Monks at the Hong HockSee Temple in Kuala Lumpur face a moral dilemma because of their belief in non-violence.

The insects have plagued the temple for a year and one worshipper needed hospital treatment after being bitten, reports Sky News.

A disciple has since tried using a vacuum cleaner to gather up the ants before freeing them in a nearby forest, but the method failed to purge the swarm.

Elma Lin, a temple volunteer, said: "We haven't found a solution so far. Nothing has worked."

The temple's chief, Boon Keng, said the monks had to "respect other living things" in the temple.

Brothel flotation

An Austrian businessmen is planning to float Europe's first ever brothel chain on the stock exchange.

Shareholders will get special discounts when they snap up shares in finance expert Dr Alexander Gerhardlinger's brothel chain GoldenTime.

Gerhardlinger is owner of the investment firm RB Immo.

The shares will be offered once the group's new brothels in Munich, Innsbruck and Nuremberg are opened, which will give him enough turnover for the stock exchange listing.

He said: "I have had top lawyers, tax experts and even big name football players get in touch about acquiring shares. They all want to remain anonymous but are convinced the listing will be a winner."

Investment banker Manuel Lorenz said: "Sex often brings enormous returns, there will be a lot of interest and this offering is sure to be a winner.

"A brothel share will of course be one that attracts a lot of interest in any case, and that will benefit sales."

Oldest driver clocks up 100

Britain's oldest driver is celebrating his 100th birthday with a spin in his Reliant Robin.

Norman Yeo never actually passed a test to drive a car, reports the Mirror.

He did get his motorbike licence in 1952 and has been driving three-wheelers for the past 35 years without an accident or speeding ticket.

Norman, of Long Aston, Bristol said: "I started off with an engine on the back of a bicycle.

"It's good that they still let me drive. I got something in the post last year saying I've got another three years - so I could still be driving until I'm 102."

German man chainsaws house in two in divorce split

BERLIN (Reuters Life!) - A 43-year-old German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chainsawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

Police in the eastern town of Sonneberg said on Friday the trained mason measured the single-storey summer house -- which was some 8 meters (26 feet) long and 6 meters wide -- before chainsawing through the wooden roof and walls.

"The man said he was just taking his due," said a police spokesman. "But I don't think his wife was too pleased."

After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother's house where he has since been staying.

Invasion of the body-snatchers

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - Gunmen stormed into a cemetery in southern Mexico and stole the buried corpse of a suspected drug gang hitman killed days earlier in a shootout, local officials said on Thursday.

The four armed men broke into the graveyard in the town of Poza Rica, Veracruz state, on Tuesday night, tied up a security guard, smashed Roberto Carlos Carmona's gravestone with hammers and made off with the coffin containing his corpse.

The bodysnatchers have not been identified, a spokeswoman for the local attorney general's office said.

"We are investigating," she said, adding that the body's whereabouts was also unknown.
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State interior secretary Reynaldo Escobar confirmed on Wednesday that the body was that of Carmona, an alleged member of the "Zetas" -- a band of ex-soldiers who fight rival drug gangs on behalf of the powerful Gulf cartel.

Carmona was peppered with bullets on Saturday during clandestine horse racing in the town of Villarin, near Veracruz port, after a row over a tight race. He was buried on Monday.

Veracruz state is not used to the gangland-style shootings that plague cartel-controlled northern Mexico.

Saturday's horse race saw bets of up to $358,000, local media reported, and the attorney general's spokeswoman said the spectators were all from outside Veracruz, many from northern states.

Mexico has seen an surge in grisly killings and daylight shootings as drug gangs battle for cocaine smuggling routes to the United States. President Felipe Calderon has sent thousands of troops to hotspots in northern and western Mexico.

Fighter jet and missile for sale online

A fighter jet and a surface-to-air missile were put up for sale on the Chinese equivalent of eBay.

The Jian-5 fighter jet and Red-flag-2 missile were listed on www.taobao.com, China's biggest online auction site. The seller, web-named 'gsam131139842', claimed they were from his private collection and that he had the right to sell them.

“There’re no particular laws to prohibit such a purchase, and plus, the weapons systems have been removed," he told the East Day News.

He was seeking £20,000 for the fighter jet, £32,000 for the missile 490,000 yuan, plus a £1,300 transportation fee.

“I can dismantle the weapons first, then assemble them at your place,” the seller reportedly offered.

The seller said he was from Hubei province, and that the main reason for the sale was that he urgently needed money.

“I actually also have a T-34/76 tank, which served in the Korean War around 60 years ago, and still runs," he said.

He said he didn’t put the tank on the website because it was rusty but he was prepared to sell it for £13,000. The East Day News says the weapons were later deleted from the auction website.

Tractor 1 Tank 0

A tank came off worse when it collided with a tractor in Switzerland.

The tractor was only slightly damaged in the collision, near the town of Siselen, northwest of the capital Bern. But the tank was a write off after it lost its tracks, crashed off the narrow road and turned over .

The road was closed for two hours while the tank wreck was recovered. The tractor was able to continue on its journey after the driver gave a statement to local police.

Opera to drive out junkies and drunks?

Vienna is hoping opera will succeed where police have failed in driving drug addicts and drunks out of the city's underground network.

Drug addicts and alcoholics have refused to move on from the city's main Karlsplatz underground station despite frequent police crackdowns over the years.

Local councillor Ursula Stenzel said: "We will be playing classical music, and broadcasting opera on specially installed TV screens."

She said she hoped the music would force the troublemakers to move on.

Her spokesman said: "These sort of people are not known for their love of opera and classical music, and we believe they will not hang around. Those that do might find that civilised music encourages civilised behaviour."

The social workers already working with the loiterers however are sceptical the idea will really work.

Girl, 7, calls police on cheating grandpa

A seven-year-old girl called the police - because she thought her grandfather was cheating in a game of cards.

Officers received a call from a young girl, who subsequently hung up the phone.

The call was traced to a home in the town of Burnett, Wisconsin, reports the Fond du Lac Reporter.

When police officer's arrived at the scene to investigate, the girls complaint turned out to be that she thought her grandfather had been cheating in a card game.

The girl's grandmother told police that she had just learned how to dial 911.

Dogs use cash machines

Dogs are being trained to use cash machines for their disabled owners.

They insert and withdraw cards at ATMs to help owners in wheelchairs who are not able to reach.

A spokesman for charity Canine Partners, which trains the dogs, said: "They put in the card and take it out and take out the money and give it to the person in the wheelchair.

"They can't put in the Pin but a person in a wheelchair can go sideways on and do that."

Up to 30 dogs are trained each year and the charity is hoping to double that figure next year.

It takes two years to train them, in which time they also learn to load the washing and pick up items from shop shelves.

The cash machine scheme was started by chance when Gulf War veteran Allen Parton was at a cash machine with his labrador Endal.

Wheelchair-bound Mr Parton was struggling to retrieve his cash when Endal jumped up to reach for the card, money and receipt with his mouth.

He said: "It was amazing, as he had never been taught to do this."

Strippers offer free shows for missing dog

Strippers in Italy are offering a year's free entry to their show for anyone who finds their missing poodle.

The girls, who work at the Gilda 2 sex shop and strip club in Viareggio, made the offer as soon as their pampered poodle Gianni went missing.

One of the strippers said: "Since we made the offer we have had lots of responses, but so far none of the dogs we have been shown have turned out to be our little Gianni."

London bus baby ads

A 54-year-old woman is so desperate for a baby that she's advertising on London buses for an egg donor.

Linda Weeks, a librarian of Maidstone, Kent, says the £2,000 ads are her last chance of becoming a mum.

She and husband Richard, 48, have been trying to start a family for 14 years, reports the Mirror.

They have spent £10,000 on unsuccessful IVF treatment and suffered the heartache of a miscarriage.

The advert shows the couple of their wedding day, in 1993, and says "Don't we look happy!"

But it goes on: "We'll never be Mummy and Daddy unless a wonderful woman aged 36 or under can help us by donating some of her eggs. You are our only chance of happiness."

Linda said: "I'm hoping somebody reads it and takes pity on us. I'm hoping it's third time lucky. The fertility clinic can only keep us on their list for another year - we have to give it one final go."

Man Digs Up Father’s Corpse

Pakistani police are hunting a man who dug up his father's two-year old corpse and took it home in a hijacked ambulance to try to bring him back to life.
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Abdul Rehman's family say he is mentally ill and has never been able to cope with his father's death, police said on Saturday.

"He dug up the corpse on Thursday night after he had hijacked an ambulance and its driver at gunpoint and took it to his home," Ghulam Murtaza, a duty officer at Ferozabad police station in the southern city of Karachi, told Reuters.

Police raided the house on Friday after a complaint from the trust that owned the ambulance and from Rehman's brother.

"He kept the corpse, which was nothing but a skeleton in his bedroom, for well over 12 hours. He escaped when we raided the house. We have buried it again," Murtaza said.

Rehman had also kidnapped a vagabond who slept in the graveyard and locked him up at home, police said.

"He told us he saw Rehman chanting magic spells and pouring rose water on the corpse to bring it back to life and was crying bitterly," Murtaza said.

Rehman faces a year in jail for defiling a corpse, police said.