Britain's unluckiest man?

'Britain's unluckiest man' - who has suffered 16 major accidents - is laid up again after falling down a manhole.

John Lyne's misfortunes have included two lightning strikes, a rock-fall in a mine, nearly drowning and three car crashes.

Mr Lyne, 54, of Stainforth, near Doncaster, will be out of action for 32 weeks after his latest mishap, reports the Doncaster Free Press.

The accident damaged his back and injured his left leg and both knees - on top of a lifetime of broken bones.

Mr Lyne says he's not bitter - just glad to be alive.

"Everyone thinks it is just hilarious," he said. "My mates, family and wife Susan just laugh about it.

"I don't think there is any reason or explanation for it though, it has just happened really. I have to particularly be careful on the Friday 13ths, when a few accidents have fallen."

Mr Lyne's mishaps cover a lifetime. As a child, he fell off a horse and cart - only to be run over by a delivery van.

When he was a teenager, he broke his arm falling from a tree. On his way back from hospital, his bus crashed, breaking the same arm in another place. The date was Friday the 13th.

Wife goes to court to stop hubby's ghost stories

A Taiwanese woman has taken out an injunction against her husband to stop him telling her ghost stories.

The woman, named only as Mrs Chen, complained he was giving her nightmares, reports the Apple Daily Taiwan newspaper.

She first filed a complaint with police, then applied for a personal protection order which was approved by a district court in Taichung.

The couple have been married for 20 years and have two daughters. They separated a few years ago but never divorced.

Mr Chen found work away from home, at an orchard, but returned every few months to visit his daughters for a few days.

In her complaint, Mrs Chen claimed her estranged husband often returned home in the dead of the night in a drunken stupor.

He would then go on to tell her ghost stories for at least an hour, despite her repeated pleas for him to stop.

He would tell her stories of seeing 'figures clothed in white floating around in the orchard', of people hanging themselves, and of the discovery of human bones near the orchard.

In his defence, Mr Chen claimed he was only sharing work stories with his wife.

But his daughters told the judge their father frequently traumatised their mother with his macabre tales.

World's biggest rubber band ball

A US man has made the world's biggest rubber band ball.

A rubber band ball, created using more than 175,000 rubber bands, is pushed to a scale for a weigh-in in Chicago before its certification by Guinness as the world's largest /Empics

Steve Milton, of Eugene, Oregon, created the ball out of more than 175,000 rubber bands.

Guinness accepted it as a record breaker after it tipped the scales at 4,594lbs at a Chicago weigh-in.

The mammoth ball, which has a circumference of 19ft, broke the former record set by John Bain, whose ball weighed in at 3,120lbs.

The 26-year-old started his ball in November 2005 with just a few small rubberbands.

"It was just a great project with me and my kids," said Mr Milton, who worked on the ball with his six-year-old son, Bryce Milton, and his fiancee's son, Austin Johnson, 7.

"We did a little bit of research on how big rubber band balls are, and realised there was one out there that was 3,120 pounds and we knew we could do it."

'Mr Magoo' driven off the road

A partially-sighted driver, dubbed Mr Magoo by anxious neighbours, has been ordered off the road..

Partially-sighted learner driver Peter Davies, 25, who is determined to pass his test despite concern from local residents in Burry Port, Carmarthenshire /PA

Peter Davies, 25, of Burry Port, west Wales, failed a basic eye test, reports icWales.

Residents urged him to give up driving after he recently mounted a kerb and crashed into a fence.

He was banned after police called at his home and asked him to carry out a partial eye test in the street outside.

He agreed to take part and went on to fail four times to read a number plate of a car parked 20 yards away.

Mr Davies admits having just 50% effective vision in one eye and 45% in the other but insists he is a safe learner driver.

His father, Antony Davies, who was teaching him to drive, says Peter was 'gutted' and had booked another test with an optician.

"To be honest he is gutted by what has happened. We are both hoping an optician can put an extra thickness into his glasses," he said.

"Personally I don't think it is justified, stopping him driving, but there was a campaign to get him off the road and this is where it has led."

Pensioner survives 100ft fall

A pensioner walked away with cuts and bruises - after driving his car over a 100ft cliff.

The drama was witnessed by Andy Baldwin who called 999 - but only realised later the driver was his own stepfather Terry Flynn, 72.

Mr Flynn swerved off a coast road in his Vauxhall Corsa and smashed through a barbed wire fence into a field, reports the Mirror.

He then drove in circles round the field in the pitch black before plunging over the cliff 300 yards from the road.

But, amazingly, Mr Flynn had only minor head and rib injuries. He was winched to safety by coastguards and taken to hospital where he was said to be "comfortable".

Mr Baldwin, 54, who was driving past at the time of the crash, said: "It seems Terry swerved to avoid an animal and ended up in a field.

"He got disoriented, probably banged his head, and drove over the cliff. The car is almost completely flattened. It was low tide otherwise he could have drowned."

A Hampshire Police spokeswoman said: "We are treating it as an accident. We have no idea why he lost control."

Fat fingers cost man £240K

A man lost £237,500 - thanks to his fat fingers.

The punter had meant to place a bet on a horse running at Wolverhampton but instead accepted wagers of 999-1.

One punter snapped up the odds and won £214,000, reports the Sun.

The transaction took place on internet betting website Betfair. It allows gamblers to lay wagers against each other.

The man, who has not been named, tried to place a bet at 999-1 on 15-8 favourite Peregine Falcon, but he hit the key to accept the odds and his error was seized upon.

Smaller bets were also placed, meaning the man lost in total £237,500.

Betfair's Tony Calvin said: "The client simply made a mistake."

Briton is world champ - at 'rock, paper, scissors'

A Londoner is hoping to become BBC Sports Personality of the Year after winning the 'rock, paper, scissors' world championships.

Sales manager Bob Cooper, 28, won the title by defeating a field of more than 500 contestants in Toronto.

He puts his success down to hard work, training, research and sunglasses, reports the BBC.

"It's similar to poker when you're out there bluffing, putting out the right or wrong signals. The eyes give away a lot so the shades are a definite benefit," he said.

Mr Cooper spent one or two hours each day training for the event, playing friends and colleagues or studying tactics.

His fans have voted for him to be nominated for BBC Sports Personality of the Year. Voting for nominees is now closed.

"Hopefully I could get nominated for Sports Personality of the Year, or we could begin a campaign to reopen nominations," he says.

Hospital patient had to ring 999

A Romanian hospital patient had to call the emergency services because nobody heard him crying for help.

Stefan Ososchi, 80, who suffers from an incurable disease, said he was lucky to have his mobile phone with him.

He had been admitted to the County Hospital in Botosani and put on a drip but the nurses forgot to come back to take out the needle from his vein.

Mr Ososchi said: "I waited for the nurse come and take the needle out. It had been almost an hour and nobody came.

"I had terrible pains in my arm and I tried to take it off myself but didn't succeed. I began to cry for help. It was in vain so I called 112 and asked for their help."

The head of the County Hospital in Botosani said the two nurses who were in charge of the patient will be disciplined for negligence.

Ambulance service spokesman Dorina Andronache said: "I thought it was a stupid joke when I heard that somebody from a hospital was asking for help. But it turned out the patient was indeed in trouble."

Polish worker sleeps at wrong house

A man from Scunthorpe rolled over in his bed to discover a Polish workman in place of his wife.

Graham Handley's wife Linda had gone into their eight-year-old son Adam's room because he was having trouble sleeping. She had nodded off there while Graham slept in their bed.

His sleep was disturbed by the sound of someone getting under the covers and he muttered a greeting to Linda.

But he leapt out of bed when the reply was a deep baritone and in a foreign tongue.

The Polish worker went straight to sleep and would not move even when police arrived.

It is believed the exhausted immigrant worker who lived in a neighbouring street got confused after a late shift.

He walked into the Handley home through an unlocked back door, took off his shoes, ate a large chocolate cake from the kitchen and then went to sleep in Graham's bed.

According to the Mirror, Graham, 45, said: "He wouldn't get up for anyone. He told the police to go away and they were standing there laughing. Then a big burly officer came and took him downstairs."

Linda said: "Graham woke me up and said there was a man in bed with him. I thought he was dreaming and told him not to be stupid."

Police said a 25-year-old man had been cautioned.

House fire? Grab a donkey...

A fire safety leaflet translated from English to Urdu advises people to grab the nearest donkey when escaping from a building.

Strathclyde Fire and Rescue produced the leaflet for ethnic communities across Scotland, reports the Mirror.

The English text on the leaflet reads: "Never jump straight out of a window, lower yourself on to cushions etc."

But when translated into Urdu says: "Never jump out of a window straight. Put yourself on a donkey etc and come down."

Teacher Ilfan Malik explained: "The Urdu word for cushion is gadda. But the word for donkey is gadha.

"It appears whoever translated the leaflet has mixed the two words up or the spelling has been printed wrongly."

A Strathclyde Fire and Rescue spokesman said: "A replacement leaflet will be distributed soon."

Teacher in sticky spot

A Romanian nursery school teacher is in trouble after covering kids' mouths with sticky tape to make them stop talking.

Teacher Cristiana Buruiana, who works at Kindergarten No. 4 in Bucharest, may lose her job after an internal investigation is finished.

After being caught on film with a hidden camera, she admitted using this method on children who were disturbing lessons.

She said: "Those kids just wouldn't stop talking so I had to do something to save the class.

"I understand now it might look a little too tough and I am sorry for what I did."

Kindergarten head Adriana Stefanescu accused the teacher of 'mental mutilation' of the pupils and recommended her for suspension.

Man unhurt after 50ft fall

A Czech man had a lucky escape after he plunged four floors onto the pavement below after mixing up the toilet and balcony doors.

Dusan Zdimala, 61, from Brno, fell 50ft but walked away with just light bruises after his middle of the night mix-up.

He was taken to hospital after a neighbour, who saw him fall, rang an ambulance.

Mr Zdimala, a painter, said: "It's miraculous. Apart from the bruises nothing happened. I didn't even break a single bone."

OAP's U-turn causes nine crashes

A pensioner caused nine separate crashes after executing a U-turn on a German motorway.

Ingrid Schoppenhauer, 76, caused £35,000 of damage along the A9 Autobahn as drivers piled into each other.

She calmly explained to officers that she had been trying to get to the Bavarian city of Bayreuth but had taken a wrong turn and got on the A9 Autobahn heading towards Berlin.

She said she wanted to get off the motorway as quickly as possible and decided to do a U-turn and head back to the correct exit.

No one was seriously injured in the accidents but police confiscated the woman's licence.

Fans make Borat President of Kazakhstan

Borat fans have made the spoof journalist President of Kazakhstan.

Fans logged onto internet site Wikipedia and edited the page for the fictional character's home nation.

The alterations to the site said the country's motto is "High Five" and the national anthem opening line was changed to say: "Kazakhstan greatest country in the world. All other countries are run by little girls."

Wikipedia normally allows free editing of more than five million articles - but they have banned users from contributing to the Kazakhstan page.

According to The Sun, previous entries on pages for President Bush and Tony Blair have also been locked.

Wikipedia said false entries were usually spotted and corrected within minutes by other users.

Swan in love with paddle boat

A swan who fell in love with a swan-shaped paddle boat has been moved to a zoo with his plastic lover.

A black swan which has fallen in love with a swan paddleboat in Muenster, Germany, is being given a winter home in a local zoo because he won't leave his 'girlfriend' to migrate /PA

Biologists in Muenster, north-western Germany, say the rare Black Australian Swan has been showing all the typical signs of love for its species, circling its plastic lover, staring endlessly at it and making crooning noises.

The swan now refuses to fly south for winter without his mate.

Park keepers say that 'Black Peter' as the lovesick swan is known, refused to leave the boat on the Aasee Lake - which also should be taken off during the cold weather.

Boat-owner Peter Overschmidt has agreed not to lock his boat away for the winter.

He said: "When you see how Peter circles the swan boat you know there could be no other option, it's the centre of his life."

Hearing about Peter's plight Allwetter Zoo then agreed that both Peter and the boat could spend the winter on their pond near the elephant enclosure, which is more protected from the elements than the lake.

Zoo director Joerg Adler said: "This arrangement could go on for ever because the animal now firmly believes he has found a partner for life."

Rare tigers found in mini-van

Customs officers doing a routine border check opened the back doors of a mini van to discover two fully-grown Siberian tigers.

The male and female tigers were being smuggled into Montenegro from neighbouring Bosnia and Herzegovina.

The driver and two passengers were arrested for the illegal trafficking of animals, which are one of the world's most endangered species.

The tigers are being temporarily looked after in a local zoo.

Siberian tigers tend to live in snow-covered areas and it is unclear how the animals ended up in the Mediterranean country, or what their final destination was.

Paula's toilet break tops poll

Paula Radcliffe's wee stop during the London marathon has been voted running's most memorable event.

Her unscheduled roadside toilet break in 2005 beat Sir Roger Bannister's historic four-minute mile in 1954.

Radcliffe's embarrassing moment received 28% of the online vote - 1% more than Bannister's memorable run.

In third place, with 20%, was the clash of British great rivals Sebastian Coe and Steve Ovett in the 1980 Moscow Olympics.

Coe, now Lord Coe, finished second to his rival in the 800m, but took the gold in the 1,500m race.

In fourth place, was another duel, between South African Zola Budd and American Mary Decker in the 3,000m at the 1984 Olympics.

The race ended in tears for both after they collided. Decker fell over while Budd finished out of the medals.

Jesse Owens' feat of winning four golds in front of Hitler at the 1936 Olympic Games in Berlin was voted fifth.

Horror fans faint at new movie

A UK cinema chain had to call emergency services three times in one night because of people fainting during the new horror film SAW III

Four people passed out in separate incidents while watching slasher movie Saw III at Cineworld complexes in Stevenage and Peterborough.

One woman was taken to hospital and two other adults were treated by medics after fainting in Stevenage, Herts.

And in a separate case, a man collapsed at a cinema in Peterborough, Cambs, "due to the film's content".

"If you know you're squeamish, don't go," warned a spokesman for the East of England Ambulance Service.

"This is obviously a blood-thirsty film. Some of the scenes are fairly horrific," Matthew Ware told the BBC News website.

The movie is currently number one in both the UK and North American box office charts.

Cineworld have declined to comment

Dead woman wins election

A dead woman won an election to a rural school board in Alaska - on the toss of a coin.

Katherine Dunton died on the day of the election which left her and challenger Dona Highstone tied.

Even with Dunton's death, state law required a tie vote to be settled by lot after an official recount.

Highstone called heads, but the coin landed on tails. The school board at Adak must now find a replacement.

Elections director Whitney Brewster said nobody in the election office could remember anything like it happening before.

"This is definitely a new one for the division, and it's just, just ... I'm speechless, frankly," she said.