Man’s buttocks provide him with a new tongue

Modern science and technology progress at such high rate that fantasy and sci-fi books no longer capture the attention they used to: for the most part even the most daring and bizarre idea that crosses creative minds of imaginative authors shortly becomes a reality. “Fiction turned fact” – a task quite attainable by this century’s scientists who overcome all challenges and stumbling blocks on their path to show forth ever more incredible discoveries. In the medical field, for instance, new breakthroughs are made almost on a daily basis. Enough is to mention the plastic surgery development that allowed a woman to put on a brand-new face after her own was destroyed by her pet dog…

In another case a young man from Poland was able to recover his ability to speak thanks to the masterful skills of modern doctors. His misfortunes began the day Yarislav Ernst, 23, of Glivich, found out that his tongue had developed a malignant formation and that surgery would be inevitable. After the doctors finished operating on the man’ organ of speech they decided to attempt to completely restore it.

Penis-pump driver crashes into bus

A Slovak driver who ignored a give way sign and crashed into a bus was subsequently extracted from his car unconscious, half naked, and "with a vacuum pump on his penis", Channel 4 reports.

The unnamed 42-year-old was driving his old Citroen in the Slovak town of Levice when the accident occurred. Police officer Peter Polak told Reuters: "It's very likely he had auto-sex while driving: it is a matter of investigation. After the accident he was found lying in the seat, his pants were off and it [the pump] was placed on his penis."


Unsurprisingly, Polak added: "I've never seen anything like this, nor have my colleagues."

The man was taken to hospital with "head injuries", the report concludes.

Scary face growing out of tree

KEPALA BATAS: A “scary-looking face” on a pinang tree has been drawing curious crowds to a village house in Kampung Paya near here.

The face, which looks as though it is imprinted at the base of the frond, was spotted by owner Miah Majid, 60, last week.

As word about the tree spread, streams of visitors have been flocking to the kampung to look at the tree, which stands at 7.25m. The image faces east.

Miah said it was the second time an unusual shape had appeared on the 10-year-old tree.

The first formation was in the shape of an eye, she said.

“The frond will probably last another two weeks. By then it should shed naturally. So far, nobody has asked to keep the frond,” she added.

A few people were seen gathering at Miah’s backyard to look at the tree when The Star visited the place yesterday.

Village elders advised onlookers to “just look” and not to make comments.

Wife chopped off late hubby's willy

A German woman chopped off her dead husband's penis - to pickle it as a souvenir of their marriage.

Uta Schneider, 65, used a butcher's knife to hack off Heinrich's manhood in a Stuttgart hospital, reports The Sun.

She wrapped it in foil and put it in a lunchbox to take home but was spotted by a nurse and arrested.

Uta, who was wed to Heinrich, 68, for 35 years, is accused of mutilation.

She reportedly told police: "It was his best asset and gave me so much pleasure". "I wanted to pickle it for eternity - he would have wanted it. We called it his joystick. I wanted it to remember him by."

World's First Underwater Post Office

Vanuatu Post has created the world’s only Underwater Post Office. Situated within a marine sanctuary, off Hideaway Island near Port Vila in Vanuatu, the Post Office can receive mail delivered in person if you are a visiting diver or snorkeller or sent via the Main Post Office to ensure all mail items receive the special cancellation from this unique underwater paradise.

Train Packed With French Fries Derails

Several cars of a train hauling french fires derailed in Orange County, Fla., spilling the load and closing nearby roads, according to a Local 6 News report.

Officials said the train derailed near the Florida Mall at Orange Blossom Trail and Landstreet Road early Wednesday.

The conductor was moving the 17-car train through a soft area of the tracks when the tracks apparently buckled under the weight on pressure of the load.

Officials said the recent rainy conditions may have contributed to the incident.

Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat

A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.

The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.

They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.

"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.

Saudi to ban the sale of cats and dogs

Municipal authorities in the Saudi Arabian cities of Mecca and Jeddah have banned the sale of cats and dogs as un-Islamic.

Saudi's religious police, the Muttawa, have been instructed the prevent the sale of cats and dogs in order to prevent the spread of Western ideas into the highly Islamic country, Saudi media reported on Friday.

"Some youths have been buying them and parading them in public," said a memo sent from the Municipal Affairs Ministry to Jeddah's city government to explain the ban.

The Muttawa are normally tasked with forcing women to cover themselves, ensuring men attend mosque prayers and enforcing other Islamic obligations.

Banning the sale of dogs may surprise few in the desert kingdom, since conservative Muslims despise dogs as ritually unclean.

But the cat ban has baffled many. Islamic traditions say that the Muhammad, Islam's founder, loved cats - even in one instance letting a cat drink from his ablutions water before he washed himself for prayers.

Alaska Man Found Dead, Trapped by Mower

The owner of a remote Alaska lodge died of exposure after his lawnmower overturned and trapped him, authorities said Friday.

A neighbor found the body of Andrew Piekarski, 61, on Thursday. He had last been seen on Sunday.

Investigators determined that Piekarski drove off a small hill, and the lawnmower landed on his legs. When Piekarski could not free himself, he unsuccessfully tried to take the lawnmower apart using a multipurpose tool, authorities said.

"He couldn't get if off his legs and he couldn't get out from under it and he died from exposure, from hypothermia," Alaska State Troopers spokesman Greg Wilkinson said.

Overnight low temperatures at Talkeenta, about 80 miles north of Anchorage, have been dipping into the 30s.

State police lose plastic explosives during drill

State police hid eight ounces of plastic explosives on the back bumper of a truck Wednesday night during a drill for bomb sniffing dogs at Logan International Airport.

Before the drill had been finished, however, a Massport employee drove off in the white pickup truck, unaware that a clump of the explosive Semtex had been slapped on the back. The employee only drove about 1.5 miles, according Lieutenant Sharon Costine, but it was far enough for clay-like explosive to fall.

State Police today were still searching for the Semtex, which they say can’t explode without an ignition device, Costine said.

"It isn't dangerous if you bump it or if you drop it," Costine said. "We are still looking for it."

Woman, 79, tried to hold up bank

A 79-year-old woman was arrested in Chicago after she tried to hold up a bank at gunpoint.

She wore a white visor that read "princess" and black sunglasses when she tried to hold up the bank with a toy gun.

The Chicago Sun-Times says she could be the oldest woman ever charged with bank robbery in the city.

An FBI agent's affidavit says she walked into a Bank of America branch and told a female cashier she could not speak very loud because she had just come from the dentist.

When the cashier leaned forward, the woman pulled out what appeared to be a gun and said: "Give me $30,000. My friend is across the street. And no dye."

However, the cashier reached into her drawer and activated a silent alarm before walking away from the counter.

The robber waited a few minutes then walked out of the bank, ditching her trench coat as she left. A bank employee flagged down a police officer who arrested her outside.

Paper from sheep poo

A company in Snowdonia has won an award for making greetings cards and gifts out of sheep droppings.

Creative Paper Wales won a £20,000 Millennium Award for its Sheep Poo Paper products, reports the BBC.

They collect sheep droppings from the surrounding mountains, sterilise it in pressure cookers and recover the washed and undigested fibres.

A sheep digests just 50% of what it eats. The recovered fibres are mixed to form paper and cardboard for the company's range of stationery and gift products.

Even the washing water is not wasted - it is distributed to local growers as concentrated fertiliser.

Founders Lawrence Toms, 38, from Rhondda and Lez Paylor, 38, from Caerphilly, said they had been keen to develop an idea which would be uniquely Welsh.

The company's plant at Aberllefenni, near Machynlleth, will be able to produce one to two tonnes of paper a year.

Louisiana man drilling for oil in his 'front yard'

HOUSTON (Reuters) - Oil prices are so high, that oilman Steve Jordan is drilling a well next to his home near Lake Charles, Louisiana, he said on Wednesday.

Jordan, 52, said the well will stretch 8,500 feet (2,591 metres) under his house and swimming pool and below the adjacent Calcasieu River.

He hopes to strike oil in about 10 days on a prospect that wouldn't have been worth drilling when prices were lower, he said.

"I'm not trying to prove anything," Jordan said in a telephone interview. "I'm trying to make money."

It will cost about $2 million to drill the well.

Cell Phones Found Inside Four Prisoners

AN SALVADOR, El Salvador (AP) - Cellular telephones were found inside four prisoners in El Salvador's maximum-security prison, authorities said Wednesday.

The discovery was made Tuesday at the prison in Zacatecoluca, in central El Salvador, after suspicious officials took X-rays of each of the inmates, federal corrections chief Jaime Villanova said.

The names of the prisoners, all members of the dangerous Mara Salvatrucha gang, were not released in order to avoid jeopardizing an ongoing investigation that began a month ago, he said.

Capt. Juan Ramon Arevalo, director of the prison known as Zacatras, said the gang members had introduced the cell phones, wrapped in plastic bags, into their bodies through their anuses. Authorities also found nine cell phone chips and one charger.

"Each one had a cellular with a number of chips," Arevalo said, adding that one also had hidden a charger in his anal cavity.

Monkey threw stone at zoo visitor

A Brazilian woman is considering suing a zoo after a monkey threw a stone at her.

Regiane Viana, 25, needed hospital treatment after she was hit on the head at Rio de Janeiro Zoo.

She told O Dia newspaper that she had recovered from her injuries but had been shocked by the incident.

A spokesperson for the zoo said: "It was unbelievable, the monkey threw a rock at this woman out of the blue.

"We never had this before, but we have to investigate and find out how he learn this trick, soon people will think not even Rio's zoo is safe anymore, even the animals are getting violent!"

Gravedigger buried himself

A Dutch gravedigger had a lucky escape after he accidentally buried himself.

The 62-year-old man, from Nieuwleusen, was digging a grave in Zwolle cemetery when it happened, reports Gva.be.

A trailer containing the earth he had removed tipped over and fell into the grave, knocking over the man and covering him completely.

Luckily, a workmate was able to move the trailer and uncover the gravedigger's face to let him breathe.

He called the fire brigade who managed to free the man after an hour. He was unhurt apart from a bump on the head.

Welsh sign baffles Scots

A bilingual sign on a Scottish building site baffled locals - as it was written in English and Welsh.

Building company David McLean put up the notice during work in the Bridge of Don, Aberdeenshire, reports the BBC.

The top half of the sign read: "Ymddirheurwn am unrhyw anghyfleustra a achosir yn ystod gwaith adnewyddu."

It also included the English translation: "We apologise for any inconvenience caused during refurbishment works".

Local MSP Brian Adam said that if bilingual, it should at least have been in the local dialect of Doric.

"I'm not against the Welsh language, and this is not an anti-Welsh sentiment," said Mr Adam. "It doesn't matter how wonderful the Welsh language is, it's not appropriate for this part of Scotland."

The firm, which is based in North Wales, apologised and said a new sign would be put up.

A spokesman said: "We understand that local people would prefer Gaelic signs, and we will be putting up a new sign as soon as possible."

Mice don't really like cheese

The Tom and Jerry cartoon image that mice love cheese is a myth, an academic has claimed.

Dr David Holmes, from Manchester Metropolitan University, said mice prefer foods with a lot of sugar, chocolate for example.

He said: "Mice respond to the smell, texture and taste of food. Cheese is something that would not be available to them in their natural environment and so not something they would respond to."

A mouse's natural diet is primarily made up of grains and fruit, both high in sugar.

The findings were part of a wider study into what foods attract and repel animals. Researchers found a mouse's diet is primarily made up of grains and fruit.

They say a real mouse would turn its nose up at something as strong in smell and rich in taste as cheese.

Snake eats whole sheep

MISS Piggy has a rule: never eat anything you can't lift. This python in Malaysia could learn a thing or two from the Muppet.

The six-metre reptile was found too laden to move on a road 200km east of the capital Kuala Lumpur yesterday after swallowing a pregnant ewe - whole.

Firemen had no difficulty capturing the snake, according to a local newspaper.

Police: Woman Shoots Neighbor, Dog Over Dead Cat

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- A woman was taken into custody Tuesday afternoon after police said she shot her neighbor and his dog over her dead cat.

It happened near East 68th Street and Monroe Avenue.

Investigators said that the woman had an ongoing feud with her neighbor, and when she found her cat dead in the street, she thought her neighbor's dog did it.

Police said that is when she went over and shot the neighbor's dog. Officers said she then shot the neighbor twice. Both the man and the dog are expected to recover.

No formal charges have been filed against the woman.

Wife Shoots Husband Who Shot Chicken, Police Say

CHESHIRE, Ore. -- An Oregon woman is accused of shooting her husband after he shot her pet chicken.

The Eugene-Register Guard reported Mary Kay Gray, 58, has been jailed on felony assault charges.

Her husband, Stanley Edward Gray, 43, is recovering from a gunshot wound to the shoulder. The chicken died at the scene.

Lane County sheriff's Sgt. Clint Riley said the couple had been working around their yard and drinking on Labor Day. They got into an argument after Stanley Gray shot the chicken with a .44 caliber handgun.

"We don't know if it was an accident or if it was on purpose," Riley said of the chicken's death. "It depends who you ask."

But sheriff's deputies said Gray shot her husband with a .22 caliber rifle in an apparent act of retaliation.

A neighbor said when she arrived home Monday night there were police cars clustered at the bottom of the driveway and deputies escorted her to her front door.

"It looked like 'CSI,' " Cheyenne Dickenson told the Register-Guard. "There were dead chickens lying all over the place."

Dog given kiss of life

A good Samaritan brought an unconscious French mastiff back to life in Holland by giving it the kiss of life.

Dutch police said the 18-month-old dog fell from a balcony in the town of Zevenaar but remained dangling from its leash and collar until neighbours and bystanders noticed.

They cut the animal loose but it was unconscious and had stopped breathing, said a police spokesman, Paul Koetsier.

"They tried heart massage but it didn't work," he said. "As I understand it, they closed its mouth and breathed through its nose."

The dog began to show signs of life and a passing ambulance gave further assistance. It was later taken to a veterinarian in the town and has now fully recovered.

French mastiffs are fighting dogs that can weigh over 110lb.

When asked if he would have done the same under similar circumstances, Mr Koetsier admitted: "It's a difficult question - I would definitely think twice."

Rescuers to Carry Oxygen Masks for Pets

APPLETON, Wis. -- Pets here will be breathing a little easier now that local rescuers will be carrying oxygen masks designed for animals.

Six Appleton fire trucks and 13 ambulances will be equipped with masks intended for use on dogs, cats and other small animals.

Alderman Richard Thompson initiated the program after he saw a newspaper photograph of a firefighter in Superior giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a cat rescued from a house fire.

"A pet is family to most people," he said. "I know I wouldn't want to lose Maggie, my collie, or Lucy, my Tabby cat, to a fire, carbon monoxide poisoning or Lord knows what else."

Phone telepathy: You knew it was true

NORWICH, England (Reuters) -- Many people have experienced the phenomenon of receiving a telephone call from someone shortly after thinking about them -- now a scientist says he has proof of what he calls telephone telepathy.

Rupert Sheldrake, whose research is funded by the respected Trinity College, Cambridge, said on Tuesday he had conducted experiments that proved that such precognition existed for telephone calls and even e-mails.

Each person in the trials was asked to give researchers names and phone numbers of four relatives or friends. These were then called at random and told to ring the subject who had to identify the caller before answering the phone.

"The hit rate was 45 percent, well above the 25 percent you would have expected," he told the annual meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science.

"The odds against this being a chance effect are 1,000 billion to one."

He said he found the same result with people being asked to name one of four people sending them an e-mail before it had landed.

Man With Snake Found Dead

Authorities say a 23-year-old southern Indiana man was crushed to death by a 14-foot python.

Indiana Conservation officers say an autopsy performed Tuesday morning on Patrick Von Allmen determined that his death was caused by asphyxiation around the neck and chest.

Von Allmen was found dead in a shed last night near his home in Lanesville, about 15 miles west of Louisville, Kentucky.

A 14-foot reticulated python was loose in the shed.

Conservation officer Mark Farmer says the family had obtained the snake five months ago as a pet. They say Von Allmen had ten to twelve years experience handling reptiles.

Before entering the shed, he told family members he was going to treat the snake for a medical condition. The snake was returned to the family. Indiana law doesn't restrict ownership of pythons.

Blind man was 'dangerous driver'

A blind man, who lost his eyes in a bomb blast, has been convicted of dangerous driving after police spotted his car on the wrong side of the road.

Omed Aziz, 31, was being aided as he drove through Oldbury, West Midlands, by an allegedly banned driver in the passenger seat. Warley magistrates were told he reached speeds of up to 35mph on the half-mile trip in April.

Aziz, of Oldbury, who denied dangerous driving, will be sentenced next Monday.

At a previous hearing, Iraqi-born Aziz pleaded guilty to driving with no MOT, no licence and no insurance. Aziz is also partially deaf and suffers from leg tremors.

Richard Knight, chairman of the bench at Warley Magistrates Court, said Aziz was aware of the risk he posed to others.

"Mr Aziz was fully aware of his disabilities and we find the driver was in a dangerous, defective state," he said.

Aziz and his friend were arrested on 23 April at about 2300 BST after police followed their car along Oldbury Ringway and into West Bromwich Street, Pc Glyn Austin told the court.

He said: "I attempted to speak to the driver, who appeared to be fumbling around with the controls. "At that point the passenger leaned across and stated: 'He's blind'".

Another officer, Pc Stuart Edge, who was present at that time, told magistrates the vehicle had crossed a white hazard line on to the wrong side of the road just before being stopped.

Pc Edge said: "I asked him if he could see me. He removed the dark-coloured sunglasses he was wearing and I could clearly see he was blind as he had no eyes."

Jogger missing four days found stuck waist-deep in swamp

ORLANDO -- A jogger missing for four days was found stuck in a waist-deep swamp near the University of Central Florida.

Eddie Meadows was forced to drink swamp water to keep hydrated during the four day ordeal. The 62-year-old left to run at lunchtime Thursday but never returned to his office at a nearby university research park, authorities said. A UCF police dog found Meadows parched and covered with bug bites on Monday.

``He's a strong guy. He's in good shape. He's a marathoner,'' said UCF Sgt. Woody Furnas, who found the jogger. ``He said he slept a lot and stayed down in the water. And he's been having to drink the swamp water.''

Taxi driver's sat nav gaffe

A taxi driver drove two teenage girls 85 miles in the wrong direction after keying the wrong name into his sat nav.

The girls asked the cabbie to take them from Bournemouth to Lymington, Hampshire - but ended up in Limington, Somerset, reports the Dorset Echo.

The East European taxi driver asked them to write down the address of the caravan park, then entered what they had written, 'Limington', on his car's satellite navigation system.

"He put it into his satnav and away he went. He thought he was doing the right thing," said United Taxis' manager Barry Gill. After a 90-minute taxi ride he dropped the girls at a caravan park in Yeovil - three miles from Limington - and drove off after charging them an £80 fare.

The girls, from Plymouth, Devon, only realised they were in the wrong place after asking bemused locals where they could find their New Forest campsite.

Man Tries to Burn Out Ninjas

Leicester Crown Court heard that Stanley Turner set fire to his flat in an attempt to smoke out ‘Ninjas’ living under his bed. Mr Turner caused almost £17,000 worth of damage to his own flat and the one below in his misguided attempt at curbing the hallucinatory, black-clad menace.

When the fire service arrived they found that Mr Turner, understandably worried that the Ninjas may flip out and kill people, had set light to a toilet roll to “smoke out Ninjas from under his bed”. Unsurprisingly, Mr Turner was then hospitalised for four days.

Mr Turner pleaded guilty and his defence blamed the incident on temporary psychosis caused by a change from his usual tipples, spirits and wine, to cider. The Judge handed down a suspended 52 week jail sentence and a supervision order which will include help with his drink problem.

Inflatable Teletubby Mistaken for Body

A lifeboat crew called to investigate a “body” in the sea off St Just in Cornwall found themselves rescuing a Teletubby. A lifeguard spotted the 3’ red inflatable floating a few hundred metres from the beach and raised the alarm, believing it to be a person.

A spokesman for Falmouth Coastguard commented,

“It was an easy mistake to make — except for the antenna coming out of its head”.

The Mystery of the Cross-Eyed ShoZu Chihuahua

A photograph of a chihuahua taken by a camera thief has stirred up a lot of Internet discussion. The camera was stolen on an Amtrak train from Ben Clemens, a web designer and Yahoo Inc. employee. The camera has software from ShoZu on it that allows any pictures taken to be automatically uploaded to a photo sharing website. In this situation the photographs were uploaded to Clemens' Flickr account. The thief clearly did not know about the ShoZu software and several photos taken by the camera thief, including the one of a cross-eyed chihuahua in a filthy room, showed up on Clemens's Flickr account.

Big slice of pi sets new record

A man from Kent has set a new British and European record by reciting the mathematical expression pi to more than 22,000 decimal places.

Daniel Tammet, 25, from Herne Bay, puts his ability to recall such a vast quantity of figures down to epileptic seizures he had during his childhood.

He used his record-breaking feat, which took nearly six hours, to raise money for the National Society for Epilepsy.

He said learning the number was "actually rather easy".
Source

Cave art hoax hits British Museum

Fake prehistoric rock art of a caveman with a shopping trolley has been hung on the walls of the British Museum. The rock was put there by art prankster Banksy, who has previously put works in galleries in London and New York.

A British Museum spokeswoman said they were "seeing the lighter side of it". She said it went unnoticed for one or two days but Banksy said three days.

Banksy also hung a sign saying the cave art showed "early man venturing towards the out-of-town hunting grounds".

It read: "This finely preserved example of primitive art dates from the Post-Catatonic era.
Source

Horseback rides for daring dog

A Jack Russell dog is stunning visitors to a farm by showing off his horse riding skills.

Freddie leaps on the back of his neighbour's Shetland pony Daisy for a trot around the paddock of Peglars Farm, in Flaxley, Gloucestershire. Owner Patricia Swinley said the dog was a "natural" jockey whose equestrian skills have blossomed.

"When he first saw Daisy he rushed across the yard and just jumped straight on her back," she said.

Freddie, who has been nicknamed the Flaxley Flier, is often to be seen riding round the 25-acre farm and Daisy, who stands at just 37 inches tall provides the perfect taxi, for her pal.

"The children love to come and see him," Mrs Swinley said. "I guess it is a rather peculiar sight."
Source

Man arrested for impersonating cop with T-Shirt

CANBY, Ore. -- A second victim has come forward in the case of a Canby man who allegedly impersonated a police officer and pulled over unsuspecting drivers late Wednesday night.

David Joseph Leininger, 27, was arrested Thursday on charges of kidnapping, harassment and impersonating a police officer, said officer Chris Mead with the Canby Police Department. The suspect was lodged at the Clackamas County Jail.

He was found with a home-made T-Shirt.

The worst spyware infestation that you will ever see!

Many Internet Explorer add-on toolbars monitor the user's activity. When installed and run without the user's consent, such add-ons count as spyware. Here multiple toolbars (including both spyware and innocuous ones) overwhelm an Internet Explorer session.

Homing pigeon's 5,000-mile wrong turn

A homing pigeon got lost and ended up 5,000 miles away from her British home - on a Caribbean island.

Judy changed course while flying in a 600-mile race from Bourges, northern France to Northumberland, reports the Sun.Instead she landed in St Eustatius in the Dutch West Indies.

Owner John Stewart, 69, from Hadston, feared she had been lost forever until he heard she had been found.He said: "I'm glad she's safe and in good hands - and probably having a lovely time.

"But I didn't half get a shock when I found out where she was. I'm quite jealous really."I wish I was in the Caribbean rather than in Northumberland.She's probably sunning herself on the beach."

Mr Stewart, a member of East Chevington Homing Society, reckons Judy must have hitched most of the way on a ship.

Street Emptied by Bogus 'No Parking' Sign

NEW YORK Sep 1, 2006 (AP)— Several Brooklyn residents woke up to find their street empty because someone had posted a No Parking sign and police had towed their rides.

The sign, which bans parking on a street in the DUMBO neighborhood from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. weekdays, mysteriously appeared Monday or Tuesday, residents said, and then police started ticketing and towing cars parked there.

But the Department of Transportation says there aren't any parking restrictions in the area and it doesn't know who posted the placard, which looks official.

Resident David Bourgeois said he had to pay $205 to retrieve his Mini Cooper, with a $60 ticket on the windshield, from a police pound Wednesday after it was hauled away.

"It's just outrageous," he told the Daily News for Friday editions.

The DOT said it would try to dismiss the ticket and take down the No Parking sign.
Source

Judge grants restraining order for tiny abused dog

Bebe, a 5-year-old bichon frise, a fluffy little white dog, was given an order of protection after a man was accused of beating him.

Fredrick Fontanez, 20, was arraigned Thursday on a misdemeanor count of animal abuse and released on his own recognizance, but not before the judge told him to steer clear of Bebe.

The protection order, the first for a dog in the state, was issued by Queens Criminal Court Judge Alex Zigman. It says Fontanez cannot come within a 100 yards of the dog and its owner, Derek Lopez.

Bebe was found badly beaten July 20 in Lopez's apartment, where Fontanez was staying, a criminal complaint said.

Lopez, 27, says he had to go to work and left Bebe with Fontanez, trusting the dog would be safe. When he returned hours later, he found a severely bruised Bebe, who "winced, yelped and cried" at the slightest touch, the complaint said.

One of Lopez's neighbors said he heard the whimpering dog and saw Fontanez inside the apartment at the time.

A veterinarian said the 14-pound dog, a type of toy spaniel known for its merry temperament and inquisitive expression, had been repeatedly hit or kicked.

Man with 10-year erection awarded $400,000

PROVIDENCE, R.I. - A former handyman has won more than $400,000 in a lawsuit over a penile implant that gave him a 10-year erection.

Charles "Chick" Lennon, 68, received the steel and plastic implant in 1996, about two years before Viagra went on the market. The Dura-II is designed to allow impotent men to position the penis upward for sex, then lower it.

But Lennon could not position his penis downward. He said he could no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear bathing trunks because of the pain and embarrassment. He has become a recluse and is uncomfortable being around his grandchildren, his lawyer said.
Source

Deckchair trapped testicles

A Croatian man got a nasty surprise when he tried to get out of his deck chair and found his testicles had got stuck.

Mario Visnjic had gone swimming naked in the sea at the Valalta beach in western Croatia, reports 24sata.

His testicles had shrunk while in the cool sea and slipped through the wooden slats when he sat back down on his wooden deckchair.

But as he lay in the sun they expanded back to normal size and got stuck between the slats.

He was eventually freed after he called beach maintenance services on his mobile phone and they sent a member of staff to cut the deck chair in half.

Replica Titanic may be doomed

An Inverness man who built a 100ft model of the Titanic in his back garden may be ordered to destroy it.

Maritime enthusiast Stan Fraser, 41, spent six years building the scale replica of the vessel behind his home, reports The Scotsman.

But Highland Council has now warned Mr Fraser that the structure requires retrospective planning permission.

He said: "I'm worried that if I don't get planning permission all the hard work will be down the drain."

The father of five had also been planning to install a working foghorn and lights to twinkle from the portholes.

Purse thief no match for 75-year-old victim

A would-be purse snatcher looking for some quick cash by preying on the elderly picked the wrong woman Wednesday. Betty Horton, 75, had just finishing shopping about 3:45 p.m. She was putting her groceries into her car near 2800 S. State when she turned and noticed her large handbag was gone from the shopping cart.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a man running away with the bag under his arm. "I started screaming, 'Thief, thief!"' Horton reported. This would have been the second time this year that Horton's purse was stolen while she was shopping.

But this time, Horton said, she wasn't going to wait for police.She told herself. "'Betty, you're not going to let no one do this to you again.' Good thing I had my running shoes on." Horton, who works full time and keeps active, took off after the purse snatcher while yelling, "Stop, stop! Leave my purse alone."

Horton ran down State Street past some businesses and into a residential area. That's when she found the man standing over her purse, which was unzipped and on the ground.

"I just go up to him and go, 'Why? Why did you do this?' He just stood there. 'Why did you do it?"' Horton continued to press. Despite the potential for danger — she didn't know if the man was armed — Horton said she didn't back off.

"It didn't scare me a bit. It just made me doggone mad," she said. "'That's not right.' That's what I told the guy."That's when the man, apparently overcome by guilt after the tongue lashing, apologized.

Paris Hilton Releases Tinkerbell Linux

New York, NY - The Linux world grew by yet another distribution this summer, as Paris Hilton announced the release of Tinkerbell Linux.

On her MySpace blog, the New York socialite announced the release named after her famous Chihuahua, Tinkerbell.

"First," she writes, "I think The Open Source Movement is, like, really hot. I've been dabbling with coding for ages, but it's taken me some time to find the courage to release it. As you know, I'm a shy and modest person, and wasn't sure if it was good enough for the strict standards of the coding community."

So far, reviewers of the distribution have been positive. Avis Blackshire from Teen People writes that "this software is no dog! Like its creator it has a flashy and highly polished feel to it while remaining easily accessible - both front-end and back-end."

Many Linux users said they appreciate the exposure a star like Paris Hilton can give to the Linux movement, and added that they can "appreciate someone who can compile without panties on.
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Stuck in a McFlurry

The British hedgehog population has plummeted by up to half over the course of a decade, a survey suggests. The report has prompted fears that the population of the prickly creatures is slowly being wiped out.

Even as the survey results were being released it emerged that fast food chain McDonald's had agreed to alter the design of its ice cream containers, which wildlife campaigners claimed were death-traps to hungry hedgehogs.

Animal welfare groups have also welcomed the move by McDonald's to issue "hedgehog-friendly" ice cream cups, after a spate of deaths.

The animals were getting their heads stuck inside the McDonald's McFlurry containers while sniffing for food, ending up starving to death.
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Man poisoned by dead fish

The curator of a public aquarium has been poisoned by a dead porcupine puffer fish after he sustained a series of minor pricks from its spines during an autopsy.

According to a paper from a team of toxicologists from the National Poisons Information Centre in The Netherlands, which has been published in the latest issue of the journal Clinical Toxicology, the curator suffered from tetrodotoxin or TTX intoxication as a result of the pricks he received.

The Crazy Hitler Cafe

The owner of a restaurant called Hitler's Cross Cafe in India has agreed to change its name. Owner Puneet Sablok said swastikas used on its menus and advertising signs would also be removed, reports the Mirror.

Sablok, who used the name along with a picture of Adolf Hitler in an attempt to attract attention for his new business, agreed to the changes after meeting Jewish leaders in Mumbai.

He said: "They told me how the name hurt them so I'm changing it. I never wanted to hurt anyone."
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"Tomkitten's" 'first poop' goes on display in New York

NEW YORK (AFP) - Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to show their baby daughter off in public, but eager fans were given an unusual preview with the chance to see a bronze cast depicting her first solid stool.

The scatological sculpture -- more doodoo than Dada -- is purportedly cast from 19-week old Suri's first bowel movement and will be shown at the Capla Kesting gallery in Brooklyn, New York, before being auctioned off for charity.

The artist behind the work, Daniel Edwards, previously courted controversy with a life-size nude sculpture of pop star Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug. That work was shown at the same gallery in April.

"A bronzed cast of baby's first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family," gallery director David Kesting said, adding that he hoped the work would attract bids of up to 25 or 30,000 dollars.

The sculpture, which sits on a wooden mounting with a glass casing, is to be sold on eBay next month with proceeds from the sale going to infant health charity March Of Dimes.

As of Wednesday it had attracted a top bid of 41 dollars.

"Mission: Impossible" star Cruise and Holmes announced Suri's birth in April. The entertainment press, which dubbed the pair "TomKat," has shown a seemingly insatiable appetite for news of the pair and their "TomKitten."

A spokeman for the couple was not immediately available Wednesday to comment on the sculpture.
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Suicides on the Golden Gate Bridge - shockingly high

A staggering 1,218+ suicides have been recorded. 833 of the suicides coincide with particular light poles on the bridge.